


Absence of Fear

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-18
Updated: 2005-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 21:08:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4407704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Authors: Anorien and Sairalinde Type: FPS Pairing: Haldir/Faramir…mention of Elladan/Elrohir, Rumil/Orophin, Boromir/Aragorn Rating: NC-17 Beta: Ourselves Warning: Abuse both physical and sexual. Incest. Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien owns the characters. This story is A.U. of book canon. Faramir is based on David Wenham’s portrayal of the character in the movieverse of Peter Jackson. This was written in fun that's all. Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com or thechroniclesofosgiliath @ yahoo.com Archiving: OEAM, Library of Moria, The Chronicles of Osgiliath, Saira's Library, other's ask. Summary: A.U. Haldir comes to Gondor for a meeting with the Steward and finds himself intrigued by the Steward’s youngest son. Notes: Please note that this story IS Alternate Universe. All the things you THOUGHT you knew from the books and movies MAY or MAY NOT be different. // Indicate thoughts</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Haldir stared at Denethor in amazement. The Silvan Elf had never met a man as obtuse and dead set against change as the Steward sitting across the table from him, glaring at Haldir and his brothers.   
   
"My Lord Denethor," Haldir said, determined to keep his voice neutral. "We are *not* here to take over your city, I assure you.  We are *trying* to form an alliance with Gondor."   
   
Denethor bit back a snarl and leveled his gaze at the blonde Elf before him.  He *hated* Elves.  They should all die a slow, painful death at the hands of a balrog, as far as he was concerned.   And of all the Elves he hated, Haldir was quickly getting to be high on his list.  Arrogant, cold, and haughty…even his own brothers said little to him.  And *where* was Faramir?  He knew better than to be late…especially when this meeting with these insufferable Elves had been scheduled for days.  //Of course, Boromir would have been on time.  And he would have handled this, rather than forcing the steward to waste his time in such a manner.  Typical Faramir though…the boy could do very little right.  Ah well…he could pay dearly for this.  Very, very dearly.//  
   
~~~  
   
   
Faramir rushed towards the large double doors of the council chamber. He was late and he was certain his father would be furious even if his excuse were a perfectly good one.   
   
Slapping at the dust on his sleeve he took a deep breath and looked at the guards who flanked the doorway. Both had a look of sympathy in their eyes...they knew much of what the young man had endured in these halls. Taking a deep breath as the guard opened the door he strode through trying to keep his head up. He knew that with visitors, especially *these* visitors his father would want him to look every bit of the Stewards son even if he wasn't the one he wanted to be attending this meeting.   
   
"My deepest apologies for my tardiness," he said bowing as his father looked up and gave him a piercing look.  
   
Denethor studied his son for a moment, wishing with all his heart that just *once* Faramir could do something right. Considering Faramir's preoccupation with the Elves, he was surprised he hadn't been here fawning over the creatures from the moment they'd arrived. At least he would have been spared listening to Haldir, who, Denethor had no doubt, was not to be trusted under any circumstances.   
   
Turning his attention back to Faramir, Denethor rolled his eyes. "Just once, Faramir," he ground out between gritted teeth, "I would ask you not to embarrass me in front of our guests. Now kindly sit down and try not to embarrass me further."   
   
Haldir took advantage of the Steward's distraction and conferred with his brothers. They were obviously getting nowhere with their discussions, and he was almost to the point of asking to speak to one of the Gondorian councilors instead. Both his brothers agreed, and Haldir looked up to address Denethor once again.   
   
Before he could speak, his gaze traveled to the young man that was sitting timidly beside the Steward. He was the most beautiful man Haldir had ever seen, and he found himself wishing he would look up to meet his gaze.   His breath caught in his throat and his fingers curled in his lap as he fought the urge to reach across the table and gently tilt the young man's face up so he could see his eyes.  
   
"I am Haldir, " he said softly, ignoring Denethor's murderous look and staring at the young man. "I do not believe I have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance."  //Pen velui (lovely one), you are beautiful.  Please look at me.//   
   
Realizing one of the Elven ambassadors were addressing him, Faramir looked up slowly his eyes meeting with dazzling blue eyes. He realized he was staring for a moment as he looked at the Elf. He was quite simply the most stunning being he'd ever encountered in his life.   
   
"I..." clearing his throat he attempted a small smile, "I am Faramir, I am honored to meet you Master Elf," he said softly his gaze soon drifting back to the table. He could feel his father's eyes on him and wished yet again that he could have gone to Rohan instead of Boromir.   
   
Haldir reluctantly drug his eyes away from the young man, noting that he had the clearest, most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen. He was fairer than any Elf, and Haldir longed to learn more of him even though he seemed determined to stare unrelentingly at the table.   
   
//Faramir// The name rang in Haldir's ears long after Denethor began to speak - rather, to argue once more - and the three Silvan Elves were soon embroiled in yet another heated discussion about borders and Rangers and unwanted alliances.   
   
During the discussion Faramir listened patiently, all the while stealing glances at the one named Haldir. His long straight hair shone like Mithril in the waning sunlight. He relayed the information his father wanted him to, but carefully avoided offering any opinions or suggestions though many had come to mind.   
   
He knew that his ideas would not be welcomed. He would instead wait until Boromir returned and offer the ideas to him, they would be accepted by their father without question, but if he made them they would barely leave his lips before they were dismissed.   
   
As the negotiations seemed to be drawing to a close he looked up to see Haldir staring at him. Immediately his face flushed and he looked back down at the table not wanting his father to notice. //Why would an Elf even bother himself to look at someone like me? Perhaps my late arrival has offended him too? //  
   
"Enough." Denethor stood and, forgoing all further pleasantries, stormed out of the room. Having to spend several hours with both his lesser son and these arrogant Lorien Elves was more than he could bear.  He made no attempt to keep his words from being heard, and he grumbled every step of the way until the doors closed behind him.  
   
'At least Faramir isn't quoting that old fool, Mithrandir,' Denethor thought angrily as he strode to his chambers. Faramir was naive and easily misled by the vile old wizard, and had the irritating habit of agreeing with him in most cases - even siding with him on occasion. And those Elves! If *only* his good son were here, Boromir could take these inconsequential meetings and leave Denethor to his more pressing duties of running his city. But, alas, he was always left with the *other* son.  The son who was good for only one thing - and he wasn't even very good at that. Slamming the door to his bedroom, Denethor left word with a guard for Faramir to report to him at once after he left the meeting hall. At least he would find *some* relief on this day.   
   
Faramir winced as his father had stood up quickly half expecting a fist to land on his back as it had at other times when his father grew frustrated. Keeping his head down until his father had cleared the large doorway he looked up slowly, "I am sorry," he said softly.   
   
Haldir, startled at the rather abrupt and obvious dismissal, turned his attention back to Faramir. "I think your father has much to learn of Elven ways," he smiled at the young man. "You, however, seem to be more open to change…and offers of assistance."   
   
Orophin and Rumil turned to look at their older brother in surprise.  He was actually being kind to a total stranger!  He was rarely even kind to those he knew well, and he was being positively solicitous to the steward's son.  They wisely kept their mouths closed and moved across the room, studying their brother intently.    
   
"My...openness to change and assistance is of no consequence. I wish I could be of more help. Perhaps if your party is able to stay until my brother Boromir returns you will find my father more...cooperative." Faramir stood up and bowed slightly to the Elves as he spotted a guard looking in the door sadly at him. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Father was irritated, and he would pay for it as always.   
   
Haldir studied Faramir carefully for a moment before speaking. "No consequence?" he said slowly, noticing the way Faramir's eyes looked toward the door and almost visibly winced. //Whatever could bring so much sadness to such beautiful eyes?//  
   
Rumil and Orophin began speaking quietly, wondering if this Elf speaking so kindly to Faramir was actually their brother.  He *looked* like him, but his entire demeanor had changed.  He was smiling!  Their brother *never* smiled.  And he was speaking softly, seemingly trying to get the young man he was speaking with to relax.    
   
Shaking his head, Haldir tried to remain focused and not get distracted by those blue eyes that made him want to forget everything and everyone else on Arda.  It was not like him at all to be so taken with anyone….let alone a mortal man!  He prided himself on having ties to no one, and keeping any emotions he felt well under wraps.  Yet something inside him refused to allow anything but kind and soothing words to fall from his lips, and before he knew it, he was speaking again.  "As the son of the Steward, I would imagine you are well versed in strategy…and would know that turning away a powerful ally is never a wise choice." Standing up, Haldir walked to Faramir's side. "Maybe it is you that we should be speaking to, instead of your Father?"  
   
Faramir looked up from his intent study of the floor when Haldir spoke and he began shaking his head, "Please...please do not ever say that in my father's presence," he found himself begging. If his father ever heard those words there was no telling what sort of rage it would throw him into.   "I...I am not...my brother will be returning from Rohan soon...I think you will find it easier to deal with my father when he is present," Faramir said softly, his gaze dropping away from the beautiful eyes of the Elf. "I must go," he said glancing at the guard still standing in the doorway. He knew that if he  tarried too long it would only enrage his father more and it would be even more painful. //Just go...get it over with.//    
   
Haldir's eyes widened in shock at the panicked undercurrent present in Faramir's voice. The young man was obviously frightened. Could he have misread the piercing blue eyes so completely? Was Faramir of the same mindset as his father? Did he so dislike and fear the Elves that he would use any excuse to flee from their presence? Or was the fear directly related to Denethor, and not Haldir and his brothers?   
   
"Faramir," Haldir said gently, fighting the urge to place his hand on Faramir's arm.  He wondered for a moment what had gotten into him.  He didn't like touching people, and he didn't like being touched.  Yet his brain and his heart seemed to be at odds with each other as he moved closer to the young man who seemed so frightened and innocent.  "I will do as you wish. I will say nothing to your Father. But I would like to speak with you again, privately. I would like to have at least one ally in Gondor."  
   
Faramir looked back up and gave a tentative smile, "You do have an ally in me...but I'm afraid that will do little to help your cause," he said softly. "I would like to speak to you but...I will be required to explain my tardiness this afternoon and I fear if I keep him waiting much longer his mood will darken even further," Faramir explained carefully.   
   
Haldir's heart beat faster as Faramir turned and smiled at him. His smile is as mesmerizing as his eyes, Haldir thought to himself. "Then I shall look forward to speaking with you again, my friend," he said softly. "I will leave you to your duties, and hope that our paths shall cross again before I must take leave of your fair city."  
   
"I hope that as well," Faramir said softly bowing his head slightly and then bowing to the other two Elves before he made his way for the door.   
   
The guard there shook his head, "He was angry, you best not tarry any longer my Lord," the guard said softly.   
   
Faramir nodded and quickly made his way up to his father's chamber hoping if he got there swiftly enough he would not have to endure too much of his father's wrath. He already knew what he would face, and hoped that his temper had cooled somewhat. It was but a small hope.   
   
Haldir stared thoughtfully after Faramir as he hurried from the room, apparently being called to more important duties than dealing with tiresome elves. Remembering the young man's smile, brief though it was, Haldir sighed, wishing he could have held Faramir's interest for a while, and gotten to know him better.   
   
He turned to his brothers and began discussing their plans for the evening. The three Elves decided to retire to their rooms for a few hours, and then meet back in the main dining hall for the evening meal. Haldir gave in to Orophin's pleas and promised to not bring up alliances or treaties or patrols with anyone that evening, especially Denethor, and the brothers looked forward to what would hopefully be a peaceful meal.  
 

Rumil and Orophin were about to burst with questions, but as soon as Faramir left the room, the Haldir they'd known for most of their lives returned.  He was business-like and distant, and they both wondered if they'd been seeing things.  Their brother was *not* one to befriend anyone, nor was he one who worried about making others feel better.  Many would not have even known the three of them were even family, for all the attention Haldir usually paid to his younger brothers.


	2. Chapter 2

Moving down the hallway as quickly as possible on unstable legs, weak from pain and humiliation, the only thought left on Faramir's mind was to find some peace. Quite simply he had to find his room before he became a weeping mass of faded scars reopened before his father's feet. He stayed close to the smooth marble lined walls, both to cling to for support against the pain, and to hide his shame lest another meet him in the hall. Faramir knew if he met any other in these halls their eyes would burn right through his soul and see the disgusting truth, which lay there. 

 

Faramir staggered toward his room, finally managing to open his door on the second attempt. Shutting it quickly he slid down to his knees against it. Pressing his face against the cool wood he attempted to will his body to stop trembling. It had been worse than he thought it might be, his father's anger and frustrations from the day had all been taken out on Faramir, physically, emotionally, and worst of all...sexually.

 

He shuddered and tried to push his aching body up from the floor but found himself unable to. Finally succumbing to the pain of his body and in his heart he began to weep. Hot tears traced a path down his face as he quietly sobbed, having learned at a very young age how to cry without making a sound.

 

Faramir's mind replayed the horrible events in his father's study, the result of his being late today. Denethor screamed at him as the lash fell over and over again, reopening old wounds and adding new ones. "Weak, pathetic excuse for a man. You shame me and all of Gondor with your weakness," he seethed.

 

Clutching his ruined tunic closer to his body, Faramir knew the back was already laced with stripes of dark blood. The blood soaked material shifted and felt wet and cold against his back. He would almost welcome the blood and scars over the pain in his heart and mind. His sense of self-loathing for what he had been forced to do…not forced…he hadn't been forced to do *that*.

 

Denethor had raped him -- this was nothing new. He had been raping Faramir for years, but his ultimate shame, and this Denethor knew, were the times Faramir became aroused from the stimulation of *something* inside of him. Despite all of the pain and revulsion he would harden until he was aching for release, which was never granted.

 

This time instead of using his hands, Denethor had used some type of leather cording to prevent his son's release. As Denethor had finished himself he had drawn away roughly and shoved Faramir face first to the cold marble floor.

 

 "Get out, worthless boy!" he barked, pulling his dark robes closed.

 

Faramir swallowed the bile that rose in his throat and had finally managed to get to his feet. Jerking his breeches up and hurriedly pulling on his torn tunic he made his way out of the study and into a small antechamber, far away from his father's prying eyes. There he would face his ultimate shame alone.

 

The pain in both his back from the lash and deep within him from his father's rough treatment almost sent him back to his knees. Tears stung at his eyes as those things coupled with the painful lack of release. Leaning against the wall to brace his shaking limbs and marring the white surface with bold red stripes his shaking hands went to the leather wrapped around him.

 

Releasing his bound arousal he bit back a scream, and needed only two quick strokes to take himself over the edge and relief from the pain of long denied completion. After a few moments he wiped a blood stained hand across his face and gathered himself. He would need the privacy of his chamber for only a moment, to gather fresh clothes and make his way for the bathhouse. 

 

Bringing his thoughts back to the present Faramir managed to push himself up from the floor. He wanted a bath...always afterwards he *needed* a bath, but he did not want to ask the servants. They would know what had happened, they suspected anyway he was sure. Now that he was older, and a Captain in Gondor's Army he carefully hid what went on between himself and his father. Not even Boromir knew, he knew they did not get along, but he did not know all of what Faramir had endured since childhood. //Childhood. As if I ever had one.// 

 

Slowly he gathered clean clothing and made his way for the public baths knowing that during this time of evening no one would be about them and he could take his time. Time to try and wash the taint from his body if not from his soul. 

 

As he walked his mind drifted back to Haldir. The Elf was so beautiful and perfect, that Faramir felt his even being close to the beautiful creature would some how taint him. He had been drawn by his sparkling eyes and his beauty but also his soft voice, and patient demeanor. Even when his father had been terribly unreasonable Haldir had been unruffled and stayed his course. Then again not everyone cowered to Denethor...only Faramir did. He gathered his things close and slowly walked toward the baths. He would have liked to run there, but his body simply ached too much. 

 

Once inside the bathhouse, Faramir checked the other chambers making sure it was deserted and as quickly as he was physically able to he stripped and grabbed a cloth and cake of soap.

 

Hissing softly as he lowered into the steaming water he began scrubbing at his skin. Dunking his entire body under the water he scrubbed his hair over and over again trying to remove the scent of his father from his body. Attempting to remove his touch the only way that he knew. He scrubbed his entire body until it was red and raw and still he continued, wishing to wash everything away. He wished that he could also scrub his memory away.

 

~~~

 

Haldir found it difficult to concentrate on the food during Denethor's farce of a dinner.  As expected, the steward had made no effort to offer the Elves any of their usual fare, and Haldir and his brothers were forced to pick at strange and unknown meats and soups that were served to them by timid servants who simply sat the dishes down and left as quickly as possible, unwilling to speak to their Elven guests, or even look them in the eyes. But the food wasn't what was distracting Haldir. He'd looked for Faramir throughout the evening, hoping to speak with him again. Or, he admitted to himself, at least see those startling blue eyes once more, or the mesmerizing smile that Haldir knew he'd not soon forget. He wouldn't admit that to anyone, but he knew it was true.  Faramir had stirred something deep within him…something that Haldir hadn't even known existed until he'd looked upon the young captain.  He would be powerless if ever Faramir asked anything of him – of this he had no doubt.  He'd never felt anything like this strange sensation in the pit of his stomach when their eyes had met…he had no idea what it meant, but he'd give anything to feel it again. 

 

Haldir tried to hide his disappointment as the meal ended and Denethor stood. //Does Faramir so detest our presence that he cannot bear to share a meal with us? Or does he prefer to eat alone? Not that I would blame him - Denethor is not the most entertaining of hosts at his best, I'd wager. Still….I had hoped…// Haldir pushed his plate away and nodded toward his brothers, who told him they were going to explore the lower levels of the city. Declining their invitation to join them, he decided to talk a walk by himself, hoping some fresh air would clear his mind. Or give him time to dwell on his new friend for a while longer. Choosing one of the more secluded paths, he was soon walking silently down the deserted hallways, not wishing to speak to anyone except Faramir - and that, apparently, was not going to happen.

 

 

Haldir wandered the halls aimlessly for over half an hour, unable to think of anything but the steward's youngest son.  He tried not to dwell on what these feelings were….he didn't pretend to understand them, he only knew that he wanted to know more about the young man with the haunted blue eyes.  He rounded a corner quietly, sensing the presence of someone in the next room. He started to turn back, but he found the almost irresistible desire to see who was behind the stone wall.  Quietly peering around the doorway, he felt his stomach clench at the sight that met his eyes. A young man sat in the pool in a darkened corner, but Haldir's keen Elven eyes could make out scores of deep bruises and reddened skin on the man's back and shoulders. And even more disconcerting, the man was frantically rubbing his arms and chest and every other inch of skin on his already reddened and abused body.

 

Haldir inched forward, his heart aching as he heard low, strangled sobs that seemed to echo off the walls. The hair, the profile, even the timid slump of the shoulders seemed familiar. "Faramir?" he whispered softly, approaching the pool and revealing himself, unsure whether or not the young man could even hear him.

 

Faramir startled as he heard a voice softly whisper his name, the sliver of soap flying from his hand to splash into the murky water. He hadn't realized he'd nearly used the entire thing. Looking up slowly his shame was evident as he slid further down into the deep pool suppressing a wince as the water burned his raw skin he had only now noticed.

 

"Haldir?" he asked confused, wondering why he was here and not still with his father. Normally visiting diplomats were treated to some sort of entertainment. Was his father's hatred of the Elves so much that he couldn't even entertain them properly? Sighing softly his eyes dropped back to the pool surrounding him, now cloudy from overuse of soap.

 

"Mellonamin, (my friend) what are you doing?" Haldir asked softly, kneeling beside the pool and gingerly reaching out to touch Faramir's shoulder, without even thinking twice. "I was looking for you in the dining hall. I'd hoped to find you….but not like this… What happened to you, Faramir?"

 

Unable to shift away from the soft touch Faramir shook his head, "I...I did not feel like eating," he whispered softly. He could not explain what he was doing; he hadn't even realized he had spent so long this time. If Haldir had not arrived when he did, Faramir wondered if he even would have stopped had he began to bleed? "I...was...I needed...a bath," he said unable to offer any further explanation.

 

Haldir studied Faramir for a moment. Even though the pale skin on his face and neck had been rubbed raw, he was still lovely. The redness on his chest and arms only made the multitude of angry bruises more noticeable, but his eyes were utterly mesmerizing to the Silvan Elf. "I think you are clean, Mellonamin," he said with a soft smile.

 

Spotting a pile of soft-looking robes stacked along one wall, Haldir rose and grabbed the one closest to him. "Come with me?" he asked as he unfolded the robe and held it up, trying to entice the young man into leaving the water. "Let me help you back to your rooms? You look as if you need some rest - not another bath."

 

Faramir stared up at the elegant Elf and wondered why he was wasting his time with someone like him? He swallowed down any protest he might have had as he found himself entranced by a beautiful smile. Slowly he rose up from the bath and allowed Haldir to help him with the robe feeling ashamed of the marks he knew were already dark on his body.

 

Swallowing the lump in this throat, Haldir tried not to wince as he saw the bruises that colored Faramir's skin seemingly from head to toe. He couldn't help but wonder how the young man managed to walk, as it seemed no part of his body was free of the deep bruises and welts.  He gently wrapped the robe over Faramir's shoulders and pulled the front closed, trying to keep the fabric from chafing already raw skin.  For the very first time in his long life, the Elf felt the urge to simply wrap his arms around another…wanted to hold him gently and assure him that no one would ever hurt him again; to kiss away the pain that furrowed the young brow.  //By the Valar, what is wrong with me?!  I don't *kiss*…and I certainly don't *hold*!!//

 

"Thank you," Faramir said softly as he tied the robe. "You...you shouldn't be here wasting your time with me. I can find my rooms on my own," he whispered not wanting to take anymore of Haldir's time.

 

Haldir couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Faramir had a lover who enjoyed those kinds of games - games that had obviously gone too far, if that were the case. Maybe that was why he didn't want Haldir to accompany him back to his rooms? But what kind of lover would do this, then leave the bruised and battered young one all alone to fend for himself?

 

"Why are you here anyway? I would think you'd still be in the dining hall for the nights entertainment?" Faramir asked as he moved to a bench and picked up his clothing, which he planned to burn later.

 

"I…." Haldir began, and then hesitated, not wanting to seem to forward. But it was not within him to lie, so he continued. "I was hoping to find you," he said simply, surprised at himself even as he watched Faramir's face for any sign of annoyance at his statement. "I wanted to see you again. I hope I have not offended you?"

 

Faramir's eyes widened when Haldir said he had been looking for him. "You...you wanted to see me?" he asked surprised. "I...no...no I'm not offended...though I am confused. Why would you want to look for me?" Faramir asked truly confused by the Elf's presence.

 

Obviously he still thinks I have some sort of sway with father, Faramir thought bleakly. Even though Haldir and the other Elves were right, no one would convince his father of that; no one except Boromir. "When my brother returns from Rohan you need to speak with him, he will get my father to see reason. I cannot...you must realize my council means nothing to him. I am the youngest, and…and the lesser son. Ask anyone you meet here and they will tell you that."

 

Haldir stared at Faramir, confusion evident in his eyes. "Lesser son?" he repeated, the words feeling strange and dirty on his tongue. "I….Faramir, please. Don't say that. You seem determined to make me talk to your brother. I wish only to get to know you better. If I am coming across as too forceful, I apologize, but I care nothing about meeting your brother, or, for that matter, your father anytime in the near future. If you wish for me to leave you alone, I will do so, but I did not seek you for your council. I only sought you for your friendship and companionship.  Do you wish for me to leave you alone?" he asked quietly.

 

Faramir had not intended for Haldir to take his urging him to speak with Boromir that way. Hanging his head he shook it slowly. "No...no I believe it is I who is confused," he smiled half heartedly, "I...why? Why seek me out for friendship or companionship when there is nothing to be gained from it? I cannot help your cause...only hurt it and while I would be happy to be your friend," he paused and looked up at the beautiful Elf standing before him, "I am not worthy of that station."

 

Haldir's breath seemed caught in his chest as Faramir smiled at him, but the words that fell from the beautiful lips pierced his heart. "Faramir," Haldir said softly, wishing he could reach out and somehow touch him without causing him pain. "I think you have no idea of your real worth - no idea at all. I do not wish to 'gain' anything but your friendship, and I would offer mine in return, if you would accept such an offer.  I do not offer this lightly, as I truly do not have any friends…nor do I normally wish to.  But if you do choose to accept, I would like to help you back to your rooms. I…I saw the bruises, and know you must be in pain. I would like to help you."

 

Feeling his eyes well with tears, Faramir looked away as the Elf said that he saw his bruises, he had already known he had, but hearing it made him feel even more ashamed. Keeping his voice as steady as possible he nodded, "I would like that...thank you, Haldir," he said softly. He couldn't believe Haldir...an Elf, would wish to spend time with him. Be his...friend.

 

Haldir smiled and placed a gentle hand on Faramir's arm, a gesture that could *not* have been more foreign him. "Thank you," he whispered softly, wanting to ask a thousand questions but worried that he'd sever their newly formed friendship before it even got off the ground.  He wasn't even sure how friendship worked….he didn't remember ever having a true friend….at least not since he was a very small Elfling, and that had been many millennia ago.  "How can I help you?" he asked. "I don't want to cause you any more pain. You can lean on me, or….I can hold on to you. Gently of course."

 

Faramir took an experimental step and hissed under his breath. Closing his eyes in shame and pain he nodded again. "Could...would you put your arm around my waist? I did not realize it was this bad," he said the last almost to himself.

 

He was loathe to ask this beautiful being to even touch someone as impure as he was, but Faramir doubted his ability to make it all the way back to his room on his own. Before he had been driven by the need to be clean but now he only wanted to curl up into a ball and weep. His muscles screamed and his lower body felt as if it were on fire. Father hadn't been this rough with him in a long, long time...though it had been a long time since Boromir was scheduled to be away for a long period of time. As long as father was safe from Boromir discovering what was going on, then he would continue this way until a few days before he was to return. Giving Faramir's body time to heal before he arrived.

 

Haldir unhesitatingly slid an arm around Faramir's waist, supporting him carefully, and wishing once again that he could simply wrap his arms around the young man and take all his pain away.  The feeling was a first for him…yet that simple fact didn't make it any less real.  He wanted to help….and to touch him.

 

 "I have some salve that may help with the pain a bit," Haldir said, unable to fathom why anyone would hurt such a beautiful and caring young man, and wincing each time Faramir closed his eyes in pain. "I'll get you settled, then gather it from my room. Are…Faramir, are you sure you can walk?"

 

At Haldir's question Faramir laughed softly and shook his head, "I'm not sure about anything these days," he attempted to joke as his own arm slipped around Haldir's waist to try and steady himself against his new friend. He didn't understand why Haldir even cared, but he couldn't help finding himself glad that he did.

 

Haldir enjoyed the feel of Faramir's arm around his waist - even if it was only for support for a friend in need. As they slowly made their way to Faramir's rooms, the Elf had to bite his tongue to keep from asking his companion who did this to him, and why Denethor allowed anyone to lay a hand on his youngest son in the first place. //First things first. Let's get him comfortable….as comfortable as he can be in this condition anyway…then maybe he'll talk to me.//

 

When they finally reached Faramir's door, Haldir hesitated. "May I enter your rooms, Faramir?" he asked softly. "Or is someone waiting in there for your return? Someone who would not take kindly to seeing you with me?"

 

Faramir startled at the question, "No, no one is here, please...please come in. I am sorry I can't be much of a host," he said softly as Haldir's hand pushed the door open.

 

Stumbling slightly as they entered the room he whispered, "Give me just a moment," Faramir said weakly as the walk from the lower levels of the city had caught up with him. He hated feeling this way, this weak, and he could hear his father's derisive words echoing in his mind. Cutting words, his father's voice calling him worthless, telling him that no one will ever love him except he and Boromir.

 

Haldir's hold on Faramir tightened when he stumbled. He turned, sliding his free arm underneath the young man's legs, and lifted him effortlessly. Cradling Faramir carefully against his chest, he kicked the door shut behind him and smiled down at the shocked blue eyes that looked up at him through a haze of pain and surprise. "Don't argue with me, please, mellonamin," Haldir said softly. "There is no shame in accepting help from a friend."

 

Faramir's mouth opened only to snap shut again. He hadn't been carried this way by anyone in years. Boromir was the last to do so when he was twelve and had been thrown from a horse. He wrapped his arms around Haldir's neck and rested his cheek against his chest hearing the strong heartbeat under his ear. It somehow soothed his weary soul to hear it.

 

As the strong Elf moved across the room cradling him gently against his chest, Faramir closed his eyes and suddenly realized everything he knew had changed in an instant. Breathing in the scent of Haldir's hair, his heart skipped a beat. This was what he had dreamed of. The feelings moving through his heart of being cared for like none other. Haldir was simply being what he was, a good and kind soul and Faramir was quickly losing his heart to the handsome blond Elf.

 

Faramir felt awkward as his new friend carried him into the room and gently laid him down on his bed. His face flushed red when his eyes locked with Haldir's shining blue eyes and he realized that he had not yet let go of his hold on the Elf. "Sorry," he murmured releasing him quickly and looking away. He truly wished to cling to him, to hold onto someone who did not want something from him, and who did not care for him out of duty. Someone who had chosen to befriend him.

 

Haldir reached out to gently brush a lock of hair from Faramir's forehead before he even realized what he was doing. "There is nothing to be sorry for," he smiled, pulling his hand back to rest on the covers, and already regretting the loss of holding Faramir so close.

 

"Try and make yourself comfortable, and I will return shortly with something to ease your pain and let you sleep peacefully." Taking one of Faramir's hands in his own, Haldir squeezed it gently. "I will return quickly, if you will allow me to invade the privacy of your rooms once again."

 

"Of course," Faramir smiled softly enjoying the feel of Haldir's hand wrapped around his own. Enjoying it too much in fact, as he felt his heart skip in his chest once more. Could one fall in love so easily? Or was he mistaking appreciation for something more? He shifted in the bed and tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere but they kept returning to how it felt being held by his new friend. Haldir felt...safe...a feeling that Faramir had only ever felt with his brother. "No need to rush, I don't believe I'll be hurrying off to sword practice anytime soon," he grinned hoping to see Haldir's beautiful smile again.

 

Haldir laughed, admiring Faramir for his sense of humor even when he had to be in such pain. "I shall hold you to that," he smiled, giving Faramir's hand another squeeze, then standing up slowly.

 

Gently placing Faramir's hand back on the bed, the Silvan Elf crossed the room and opened the door. "I will return shortly, mellonamin."   That was a word he seldom used…so seldom he'd sometimes wondered if he remembered what it meant.  But it fit…he did want to be Faramir's friend.  At the very least.

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

With a final smile back at Faramir, Haldir hurried back to his room, relieved to see that his brothers had yet to return from their walk. He found himself dreading coming back here - whether his brothers returned or not. Being with Faramir made Haldir feel peaceful and relaxed in a way he'd never felt in his life, and he wanted nothing more than to make Faramir feel the same way.  He could sense that Faramir needed a friend almost as badly as Haldir did himself.

 

Haldir's laughter made Faramir feel inordinately more relaxed and happy than one in his condition should be, and he smiled as his new friend left, promising to soon return. Lying back against his pillow he stared at the ceiling wonderingly as he thought about Haldir. The fact that the Elf even wanted to be near him, especially after seeing the marks on his body was bewildering, and touching, and it was wreaking havoc on his emotions. //I cannot be falling in love with him, we only just met, this has to be some sort of misplaced gratitude.// Closing his eyes he thought about how it had felt to be held in the strong yet gentle arms. How could anyone built so powerfully be so gentle? Faramir was not a small man, yet Haldir carried him as if he were a child. 

 

When the door opened slowly a few minutes later and shining long blond hair flashed in the flickering candlelight, Faramir smiled, his thoughts abruptly halting as Haldir moved back into the chamber.

 

"Hello again," Faramir whispered as the Elf approached his bed. For the first time in a long time, someone had managed to keep him from dwelling on hurtful things. Instead he had thought about Haldir. His gentleness, and his strength… and Faramir wondered briefly what it would feel like to press his lips against those smiling back at him.

 

Haldir thought that, without question, Faramir's smile was the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen in his life. He couldn't help but wonder why he didn't smile more often, then remembered the bruises and scars. And the way Faramir had been scrubbing at his already red and raw skin as he'd sat in the pool.

 

"See," he smiled, focusing on the sparkling blue eyes and pushing the dark thoughts from his mind. "I said I would not be long, and Elves never lie. At least, the Lorien Elves never do." Hoping to get a laugh from Faramir, Haldir quickly set the salve and herbs on the bedside table and sat next to him on the bed.

 

Faramir laughed as Haldir implied other Elves might lie, remembering Mithrandir's lessons and shook his head in disbelief.

 

"Will you let me tend to your wounds, Faramir?" Haldir asked softly. "I will be as gentle as possible.  I know it will still hurt, but I believe they do need to be treated…and I think it will help with the pain."

 

Watching Haldir set the salve and herbs beside the bed Faramir nodded slowly. "If...if you don't mind, I think it would help. I honestly hadn't realized it was this bad this time," he said softly not realizing his admission that this had happened before.

 

"This time?" Haldir said, raising an eyebrow. "This has happened before then. Who did this to you, Faramir? Who would hurt someone so beautiful?"  As his last words escaped, Haldir struggled not to blush.  He'd never called anyone beautiful before, but the words fell easily from his lips as he looked at the young captain beside him.

 

Faramir's eyes widened, "Beautiful? I thought you said Lorien Elves did not lie," he scoffed trying to avoid the question.

 

Haldir reached out and gently grabbed Faramir's hand. "We do not lie," he said firmly. "You are beautiful. Even if you do not yet realize it, you are, Faramir. But if you are simply avoiding my question, then I will not press it further. Make yourself as comfortable as you can, and I will see to your wounds, and speak no more of it. Tonight. But I will not give up on this, my friend. I cannot stand by and see you hurt like this again if it is against your will."

 

"I'm sorry, Haldir. I...yes, this has happened before... more times than I can count though this is one of the worst. He was...agitated," Faramir said softly never having spoken to anyone of this before. "When Boromir returns it will stop, so I have been counting the days praying that he might come home earlier than expected." He looked away from the Elf's open gaze and shook his head. "I'm afraid there is nothing that will change it."

 

Haldir's heart dropped at Faramir's words. He'd heard the guards talking earlier and knew that Faramir's brother would be gone for several more weeks due to rumors of orcs on the outer borders of the city.  His words were a shock even to himself, yet again the words fell so naturally from his lips.  "I will stay with you until your brother returns," he murmured before he even realized what he had planned to say. "That is…if you will allow me the pleasure of your company, Faramir. As I said, I simply cannot go about my life and my duties, knowing that someone is doing this to you - is hurting you on purpose, and that no one in all of Gondor is able….or willing…to put a stop to it."

 

Faramir was startled by Haldir's words. //Stay with me?// "But...you are only here for the negotiations...I thought you were returning in a few days?" Faramir asked stunned. "I cannot ask you to stay...and...I cannot guarantee your presence will change anything... obviously the Elves being in Gondor did not stop them today," he added slowly. Haldir couldn't stay... could he? Could his being here actually impede his father's attentions? Faramir doubted it.

 

Haldir squeezed Faramir's hand and gently let his thumb rub over the young man's knuckles.  He'd never willingly held another's hand, and the only time he'd touched anyone was to take what he wanted…not brutally, but as unfeelingly as possible, and seldom worrying about his partner's satisfaction.  "Faramir," he said, catching the young man's gaze and holding it, "I can accept that you do not wish to tell me who has hurt you. We barely know each other, and I understand your reluctance. But I can already see that the negotiations with your father will not end happily. I can send my brothers back to Lorien alone. It was my wish to take my time in returning. Our borders are safe, and there are plenty left to guard My Lord and Lady. As for my presence changing anything…I would dearly like to see anyone try to lay a hand on you while I am in Gondor. I assure you, they will not succeed. While it is true my presence today did not change anything, that is only because I did not know of this…abuse earlier. If you allow me to stay, you shall have some weeks free of pain and your wounds can heal. And when your brother returns, I will leave you in peace and return to my home."

 

"You would do that for me? But...you don't even know me, Haldir. What if I truly deserved this? I am not saying I did but you have no way of knowing that," Faramir said softly though selfishly he relished the Elf's touch on his hand and chided himself. //He's only offering what he feels is the right thing; he doesn't care about you. He's just doing what is right in his mind. Nothing more and nothing less. You aren't worthy of him, stop feeling that this could be more than what it is.//

 

"I would do this for you this very night, if you will allow it," Haldir whispered. "Faramir, I *know* you did nothing to deserve this. I see nothing but beauty and strength in your eyes. Nothing to make you deserve even a harsh word, and certainly nothing to make anyone raise a hand to you, or cause you any pain." Encasing Faramir's hand between both of his own, Haldir studied the young man's face. "Will you allow me to stay, Faramir? To help you?"  //Please pen velui.  Let me help you.  I don't know why, but I *need* to do this.//

 

Unable to find his voice Faramir struggled to swallow past the lump in his throat and whispered shakily, "Yes, please." He wanted to believe Haldir...but after years and years of being told that you did not deserve happiness, that no one cared for you…that you were weak...it was hard to believe otherwise. Haldir's kind eyes and honest smile were already making it difficult to keep up the argument even with himself. "Please stay," he found himself whispering as he looked up into his new friend's eyes.

 

Haldir released Faramir's hand and carefully wrapped his arms around the young man, pulling him as close as he dared without hurting him.   Never in his long years had he wanted to hold someone, to keep them safe, to 'touch' anyone…yet here he was, cradling Faramir close and as gently as one would hold a lover.  //What is happening to me? How has he invaded my every thought without even trying?  Why is his mere presence having such an affect over me?//  "You are safe, Faramir," he whispered, resting his cheek on top of Faramir's head and breathing in the scent of his hair. "From this moment on, as long as you will allow me to stay with you, no one will harm you. You have my word." Smiling, Haldir leaned back slightly and tilted Faramir's face up until their gazes met. "And remember, mellonamin, I never lie."

 

Faramir felt warmth flood through him as Haldir pulled him close, that same feeling of security he had as the Elf had carried him. //Safe.// As Haldir drew away Faramir smiled, "I remember...I'll always remember," he said softly as his eyes stared into those of his friend. His heart seemed to skip in his chest as he looked into his sparkling eyes, Haldir's lips mere inches away from his own. Faramir nearly gasped when that thought crossed his mind and he broke his gaze with Haldir finally looking away.

 

Haldir jumped when Faramir turned away so abruptly, realizing that he had just been thinking about kissing the man he'd just sworn to protect. He wanted to take care of Faramir, but he found himself wanting to touch him, to keep him safe, to..….//No. Don't even think of that. He needs protection. He needs an ally. I can protect him, but I do not truly know how to be his friend…yet I cannot bear the thoughts of anyone hurting him.  The last thing he needs right now is someone to push themselves on him…someone who would have kissed him if he'd had only a moment more of being close to those full, soft lips. Who would….no. No!// "I'm sorry, Faramir," Haldir said softly, releasing the young man from his embrace. //By the Valar, what is wrong with me??//  "I did not mean to….to push myself on you. I would never do that against your will. Just…just untie your robe, and lie back so I can tend to your wounds."

 

Faramir closed his eyes briefly and then turned to look at Haldir, "No...no you didn't push yourself on me...I...I thought it too," he defended. He couldn't let Haldir think he was alone in his thoughts. "We...we were just so close...probably only natural," Faramir said laying back against the pillow. It wasn't a very good excuse, but what did he know of such things? The only experiences he had ever had were all with *him*.

 

Faramir swallowed hard and tried to smile at the worried Elf. "It is alright," he whispered slipping the knot of his robe. He felt embarrassed but quickly struggled out of the robe keeping it about his waist as he rolled onto his side. Most all of the injuries were on his back and hips, so he faced the wall and waited. 

 

Haldir almost told Faramir that he *wanted* to kiss him - and not just because they were close. Before he could get the words out, Faramir untied his robe and rolled over, causing Haldir to bite his lip to keep from gasping at the countless deep scars and dark bruises, both old and new. And his skin was still red from the bath, telling the Silvan Elf that Faramir must have been scrubbing long before he'd arrived and stopped him. He reached over for the salve and applied it generously to his fingers, moving closer to Faramir as he lay across the bed, determined not to press his new friend for more information on who would be cruel enough to cause him such unwarranted pain, though he was dying to know. "I will try not to hurt you," Haldir said softly as his fingers brushed over the angriest of the welts. "If you need me to stop, tell me, and I will do so at once."  He applied the salve carefully, with a tenderness he did not even know he possessed, and winced each time he saw the slight tensing of muscles in Faramir's back when he touched a particularly sensitive wound. 

 

Faramir bit his lip from the sting but shook his head, "I'm fine. You won't hurt me," he whispered softly. For some reason he couldn't fathom he truly believed those words, Haldir would never hurt him.

 

After some time of feeling gentle touches moving over his injuries, Faramir relaxed. As Haldir worked on his lower back he felt the robe being pushed slightly lower and tensed a little having to force himself to stay relaxed. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on Haldir's fingers, the smell of his hair, the warmth he had felt when they were close.

 

Haldir continued his ministrations until all the exposed wounds had been treated.  He'd pulled the robe down until the cleft of Faramir's backside would be exposed if he moved it any further. "May I continue?" he whispered past the lump in his throat, unwilling to expose Faramir further without his consent.

 

The salve did sting at first but afterwards it felt soothing on his abraded skin. Faramir nervously swallowed when Haldir questioned him, "Yes," he whispered softly. 

 

Carefully sliding the robe further down, Haldir's eyes swam with tears as he saw the damage that had been done to Faramir's lower body. "By the Valar, Faramir," he swore softly, "who would be heartless enough to do this?" Afraid his words had embarrassed the man lying before him, he bit his tongue, laid a soothing hand over one of the few areas not marked by a new bruise or welt and continued, not giving Faramir a chance to answer. "Relax, Pen velui," (lovely one) he whispered, gently blowing over each welt as it was covered with salve, hoping to relieve the stinging he knew must be present on the fresher wounds. "Relax. I will be finished in just a moment."

 

Faramir's hand clutched at the bedclothes but he did not utter a sound as Haldir tended to the worst of his injuries. After what seemed an eternity he felt the robe being pulled back up covering him as best as Haldir could considering his position.

 

"Thank you," he whispered as he heard Haldir resealing the bottle of salve. He lay still for a few moments and then spoke softly. "Where...will you sleep here with me?" he asked hesitantly.

 

Haldir smiled and leaned back against the headboard, opening his arms to Faramir.  Never in his life had he spent an entire night with anyone, making it a point to summon someone to his talan when he needed relief and immediately ordering them to leave as soon as the relief was satisfied.  But it didn't even occur to him to deny Faramir's request.  "I would be honored to sleep here with you," he smiled, wondering why his arms should suddenly ache to hold the young man beside him. "Will you rest against me, Faramir?"

 

Faramir slid up the bed carefully into Haldir's waiting arms and rested his head against his muscular chest. Hearing the Elf's strong heartbeat under his ear once again made him smile. "Again, thank you my friend," he whispered sleepily.

 

"You are most welcome," Haldir smiled, carefully pulling the blankets over them both and wrapping his arms around Faramir.  "Let me watch over you tonight as you sleep and when we awake, we will think of a way to keep you safe. I would like to watch over you every night that I am here, if you will allow it. The darkest of hearts will find mischief deep in the night, and I would have no harm come to you while I lie sleeping in another room."

 

The events of the day had caught up with Faramir and the feeling of warmth and safety within Haldir's gentle embrace soothed him. "Sleep well," he said softly as he yawned and curled even closer to the warm body next to his own. Unconsciously his hand moved up to tangle in the soft golden tresses spilling over Haldir's shoulder as Faramir slipped into sleep. The simple action seemed to relax him even further into his sleep.

 

Haldir supressed a small smile as gentle fingers tangled in his hair.  He'd snapped at many an Elf who'd dared touch him in such a familiar manner, yet tonight, with Faramir, he found it soothing.  It just seemed....*right*.  In fact, he mused, everything about holding Faramir seemed right.  //By the Valar!  What's gotten into me?// With his arms wrapped securely around the sleepy young man, Haldir smiled and pulled him closer. "Sleep well," he whispered, lifting one hand to gently brush the hair back from Faramir's temple. He withdrew his hand quickly, as soon as he realized what he was doing, and blushed furiously, but Faramir's eyes were already closed, and he hoped the young man hadn't noticed.  Studying the peaceful face resting against him, Haldir finally forced himself to look away, staring at the door as if daring anyone to enter and disturb Faramir's sleep.  He had no idea why he was suddenly, unaccountably, feeling so protective of someone he'd only met a few hours earlier, but he'd meant it when he said he would allow no harm to come to the young captain.  He could wonder about the hows and whys later…right now, he found that he only wanted to relax and enjoy the feeling of holding someone for the first time in his life.  Slowly, his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep, yet his hold on Faramir did not lessen, and he stirred each time he heard an unfamiliar noise, automatically pulling Faramir closer.

 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Haldir awoke several hours later, more rested and content than he could ever remember being.  The room was cool, and he'd nestled down in the bed with Faramir, still holding him close.  The young man's cheek rested on Haldir's chest, and the marchwarden took the opportunity to study his friend's face.  The lines of worry were no longer around Faramir's eyes, and he looked as if he'd slept peacefully.  His skin was no longer an angry red, and looked pale and perfect in the morning sunlight. 

 

Never before had the Silvan Elf awoken to another's touch, and certainly never to the feel of a warm body against his own.  It was well known in Lorien that Haldir *never* had overnight guests…and he certainly never stayed anywhere other than his own talan.  He smiled and lifted one hand to gently brush the hair back from Faramir's forehead, marveling at how soft it felt between his fingers, and not drawing away in embarrassment as he had the night before.  //I don't know what has come over me, but I can't seem to help myself.//  His own hair was still wrapped securely around Faramir's fingers, and Haldir couldn't help but feel touched at the unconscious gesture of trust.    Allowing himself a moment of indulgence, he let his fingers card gently through the shoulder length ginger colored hair and sighed contentedly.  //You are so beautiful, Faramir.  Fairer then the Elves, and purer than any creature on Arda.//

 

Faramir felt trapped between sleep and wakefulness. He felt warm, and safe, much like he would when he would awaken next to Boromir when they were children and one of them had a nightmare. Odd that he didn't recall nightmares the night before, he didn't recall anything but peaceful sleep. That feeling of...contentment was a very rare thing for him since reaching adulthood. He felt a soft touch moving through his hair and he snuggled closer to the source of heat. As the last vestiges of sleep finally slipped away he realized he was in his own bed, and the warm body holding him so gently was not his brother. //Haldir.// The Elf truly had stayed the entire night with him, protecting his dreams.

 

"Haldir?" he whispered his voice still husky with sleep as he tilted his head to look up into beautiful eyes sparkling from the morning sun creeping through the chamber.

 

Haldir's heart skipped a beat as Faramir awoke and slowly turned his head to look at him, happy beyond words that the young man didn't tense and pull away when he realized he had shared his bed with an Elf.  "Good morning, pen velui," Haldir smiled, quickly moving his hand away from Faramir's hair and wrapping his arm back about him.  "I trust you slept well?"

 

Faramir smiled and nodded "That is the first time I have slept a whole night in a very long time. Thank you for guarding my dreams," he whispered softly. He was loath to leave the comfort of those arms, but he had duties to attend to and it would do him no good to be late today. Waiting a few more moments he steeled himself to sit up knowing his muscles would be aching once he did. Finally, he sat up and his forehead creased in pain, though the pain was nothing compared to what it had been the night before.

 

Haldir sat up and placed a gently restraining hand on Faramir's arm.  "Let me apply more salve and help you get dressed before you attend to your duties?" he asked, hating to see this gentle man in any pain at all, but knowing there was little else he could do.  "Perhaps I can loosen the muscles a bit to ease your pain?"

 

Faramir shook his head, "You have already done so much," he said guiltily still barely able to believe this stunning creature had stayed...had wanted to be his friend. "If...if you are sure, I think it may help," he admitted softly.

 

"I'm quite sure," Haldir smiled, as he urged Faramir to lie on his stomach and carefully examined the young man's back once again.  The salve had helped, and the welts had lessened, but he knew the dark bruises that still colored Faramir's back would heal only with time.  Faramir had been relaxed in sleep, but either the pain from sitting up or the thoughts of the day ahead had caused him to tense up, knotting the muscles in his shoulders and back.  Applying the salve liberally over his hands, Haldir moved to sit beside Faramir and began to gently knead tight muscles, being careful to avoid the deepest bruises.  "I know you don't wish to tell me who has harmed you," he said softly, "but I do hope you haven't reconsidered your decision to let me help you.  Will you allow me to stay here and watch over you until your brother returns?"

 

Faramir's cheek burrowed against the pillow slightly as Haldir's hands began to move across his injured back gently. "I have not reconsidered your offer...but I will not ask you to do so. I would not impose upon you that way," Faramir said softly feeling the tightness at the base of his neck beginning to lessen with each gentle press and knead from the Elf.

 

"You have not asked anything of me, pen velui," Haldir said as he continued his ministrations.  "I offer myself to you freely.  If this…..this coward tries to lay a finger on you, I would ask that you tell him that you are under my protection.  Tell him…tell everyone…that you and I are more than friends.  That I have been honored enough to share your rooms, and that I will allow no harm to come to you.  Will you do that for me Faramir?  Will you let this black hearted demon know that you are no longer his to harm?"  Haldir told himself it made perfect sense.  To tell everyone in Gondor that he and Faramir were together would keep the Steward's son safe.  No one in Lorien would believe it, as they all knew Haldir didn't *do* relationships, but they weren't in Lorien.  Haldir's brothers would do as Haldir bade them, and would not question him, not wanting to risk his wrath.  Haldir was not a violent Elf, but he was very set in his ways…and his business was his own, and no concern of anyone else, even his brothers.  

 

Best of all, Haldir knew, would be being able to hold Faramir during the night.  It was never something he'd wanted before, and he still did not understand why it was so important to him now, but it was.  Holding the young captain during the night had brought Haldir the most peaceful rest he'd had in centuries, and he already looked forward to the coming evening, when he could wrap his arms around him once again.  It was an unusual feeling, but not entirely unwelcome.  Somehow, without even trying, Faramir was breaking down the wall around his heart that he'd carefully built and maintained since he was a very young Elfling.  And Haldir found that he didn't mind….in fact, he welcomed this feeling, whatever it might be.

 

"I thought Lorien Elves never lied?" Faramir asked laughing softly. "It does make sense, and I suppose in some ways it is true, we are more than friends for I do not share my bed with my friends. No one has to know that it was only to sleep," he added hoping that his jest had not offended Haldir. His head sunk further into the pillows as Haldir's hands continued soothing his aches away. He wished that he didn't have to leave his room, but he could hear people stirring in the halls and outside his window and he knew that he would have to hurry to meet with his lieutenants.

 

Haldir laughed softly, yet another sound rarely heard from his lips, as he shook his head.  Running his hands lightly over Faramir's back, he let his fingertips gently soothe the last vestiges of tension away.  He found himself almost regretting that they shared a bed only to sleep, but doubted a man such as Faramir would ever desire to lie with an Elf in any other manner.  Doubtless, Faramir's heart belonged to someone else, and he was simply grateful for being offered the chance to live without pain until his brother returned.  "So we shall tell them that we are more than friends," he smiled, gently helping Faramir sit up and putting an arm around him to help him stand.  "And….I think it would help if we were seen together often.  If you have time to meet me for the noon meal, or the evening meal, or both, and can tolerate my nearness and my touch, we shall have all of Gondor believing us.  Unless," he teased, "you prefer one of my brothers?  Rumil is considered quite the catch back in the Golden Wood."

 

Faramir found that he loved the sound of Haldir's laughter and couldn't keep from smiling. As his friend helped him to stand on still somewhat unsteady legs, Faramir made his way slowly to a wardrobe and retrieved his clothing. His muscles were not nearly as stiff as before and he managed to get dressed with Haldir's aid. He felt odd allowing the Elf to help him dress, this was so far beneath his station and yet he stayed, caring for a mere man. "I do not mind your touch now, and I shall not mind it later," he answered softly as he laced his shirt. "And...I am quite happy with you, Haldir. I don't want one of your brothers." He felt funny saying those words because he honestly did not want them...but a part of him wanted Haldir for far more than a protector and friend.  More than a part of him if he were truly being honest with himself.

 

Haldir adjusted Faramir's tunic and helped him to the door.  "And, I, pen velui, am quite happy with you," he smiled, leaning in and placing a soft kiss to Faramir's cheek before he realized what he was doing.  "Be safe," he murmured, turning away and trying to hide the blush that colored his face.  //Gods!  What is wrong with me?  I don't *kiss*!!!  I just….don't!!!!  And I certainly don't want to be kissed!  Not by those, sweet, full lips….and I'm not dying to find out what it would feel like to explore every inch of his mouth, to see if he tastes as sweet as I imagine he would…And….oh by the Valar!  Shut UP! // "Send word if you have need of me, Faramir, or if anyone looks like they're even *thinking* of harming you."

 

Faramir's eyes widened and he felt a silly grin spread across his face as Haldir pulled away from giving him a gentle chaste kiss. "I will. I will come find you for the noon meal," he said smiling happily.

 

As he opened the door to his room he saw one of the servants carrying a stack of bed linens and on a whim reached back to take Haldir's hand pulling him through the doorway. Quickly he pressed his lips to the surprised Elf's. This particular servant he knew to be a terrible gossip, he knew once she rounded the corner the girl would practically fly to the wash rooms to tell the women there the tale of the young lord kissing a visiting Elf.

 

When his lips lingered on Haldir's however, all thought of deception and servants fled his mind as soft lips moved against his own. Slowly his arms wound around Haldir's waist and he almost lost himself in the kiss. Pulling away abruptly, he whispered, "I'm sorry...I'll...I'll explain that later." Then he turned and made his way as quickly as he was able toward the barracks where his men were awaiting him.

 

Haldir watched as the young Lord hurried down the hall, and found that he couldn't stop smiling.  His fingers moved up to his lips, which were still tingling from Faramir's kiss.  He'd been too shocked to respond to the kiss the way he wanted to, but when Faramir's arms had wrapped around his waist, Haldir's eyes had fallen shut and his heart had started to pound.  And at that moment, Haldir, Marchwarden of Lorien, fell completely and utterly in love with Faramir, a captain of Gondor.

 

The Elf's fingers ran lightly over his lips as he stared after the retreating figure.  //How can this be happening?  I…I am in love…in love with the most gentle and beautiful man on all of Arda!//  Leaning back against the door frame, he let his hand fall to his side and sighed.  //No one will believe this…I can hardly believe it myself.  I didn't think I was capable of these feelings…but what else could this be?//

 

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Faramir looked down at his notes again and tried to remember where he'd last stopped counting. His mind kept slipping back to the hurried kiss he'd bestowed upon Haldir earlier.

 

He had been distracted all morning with thoughts of the beautiful Elf, and had to re-count bed rolls several times. Normally his supply clerk would do this, but the soldier's wife had just had a baby so Faramir had granted him leave and instead of handing over the task to someone else, he took it upon himself to do it. He had to write a report for his father anyway, so he might as well just do the inventory himself.

 

Looking back up from his notes he sighed softly. //Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him? It seemed like a good idea at the time...a perfect way to get the servants talking...but...But what if Haldir didn't appreciate someone like me kissing him?// Faramir ran his hand through his hair and gazed out the window of the supply room. //He couldn't have wanted to be kissed by someone like me...someone so far beneath him. I'll have to apologize when I see him again...IF I see him again. He may have decided this whole ruse was a bad idea now.//

 

***

 

Haldir was smiling as he strode down the hall to find Faramir.  He still wasn't sure who they were putting on this show for, but he hoped whomever it was would be there to see that the Steward's youngest son was *with* someone now.  Someone who would not take kindly to a single hair on Faramir's head being harmed. 

 

He'd managed to postpone any further meetings with Denethor for a few days, but had talked with his advisors for most of the morning.  They had seemed a little more open to being allies with the Elves, but dared not speak too openly, obviously afraid of angering their Steward.  Haldir had tried to concentrate, but, to his surprise, found his mind wandering back to Faramir and the kiss they'd shared just before the young man had walked away.  Finally calling an end to the meeting, the Silvan Elf had hurried toward the training fields, eager to spend more time with his new friend.  //And eager to taste those lips again.  Thoroughly, this time.//  In the back of his mind, he knew the kiss had simply been for the servant's benefit – it was, after all, Haldir's idea to let everyone think they were together – but he *had* enjoyed kissing the Faramir more than he believed possible.  Enjoyed it very  much, in fact.  Maybe too much.   He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it all day.

 

Haldir stopped to ask one of the Rangers if he might know where their Captain could be found, and was pointed in the direction of the supply room.  Hurrying toward the door, he opened it quietly and his smile widened when he saw Faramir standing there, staring up at a shelf laden with bedrolls.  //Just as beautiful as he was this morning.  And hopefully he's still feeling all right.//  "Faramir?" he asked quietly as he entered the room.  "I hope I am not disturbing you?"

 

Faramir turned as he heard the soft lyrical voice call his name and couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "Not at all," he said writing down what he needed to and then crossed the room to him. After a moment his smiled slipped as he worried that Haldir was here to tell him that he'd rather not continue down the path they had spoke of that morning. "How...how have the negotiations gone today?" he asked, seeking for something mundane to try and avoid the questions he really wanted to ask. //Have you changed your mind? Did I offend you this morning?//

 

Haldir's heart began to beat faster as Faramir came closer – a condition that was completely foreign to him.  But Faramir was….well, he was everything most men were not, in Haldir's experience.  He was kind, gentle, honest, and more beautiful than anyone – man or Elf – that Haldir had ever seen.  As the smile left Faramir's face, Haldir's did the same and he resisted his initial urge to touch the young Lord.  "The negotiations went well," he managed.  //There is no one in here to put a show on for, so naturally, he does not want you to touch him.//  With a soft sigh, the Elf looked around the room, determined not to look back at the soft, full lips of the man in front of him.  "Are you feeling well?" he asked, finally letting his eyes settle on the parchment in Faramir's hand.

 

"Still a bit sore, but the salve you used helped a great deal. I honestly don't know how to thank you, Haldir. You have truly done more than I deserve," Faramir said softly as his fingers gripped the parchment a bit tighter to keep himself from reaching out to touch the Elf. He didn't understand why he suddenly had the urge to touch Haldir, to feel him close, and it unnerved him. "I'm...I..." he trailed off unable to say the apology he had in his mind all morning as Haldir's eyes gazed into his own.

 

Haldir began shaking his head before Faramir had finished talking.  Sensing the uneasiness in the young man's demeanor, his hand reached out and covered his friend's.  "You deserve to *not* be hurt," he said softly.  "You deserve to feel safe and secure in your own land, and especially in your own home.  You deserve to be cherished, not abused.  You deserve so much more than you've been given, Faramir."  His fingers tightened over Faramir's and Haldir moved a bit closer.  "Has something happened since we parted this morning?  You seem…..a bit ill at ease."

 

Faramir stared at Haldir's hand covering his own and shook his head, "No...nothing has happened. I have been worried that...that I may have offended you, overstepped my bounds this morning. I...I apologize for kissing you that way. I did it so the servant could see...but...//I enjoyed it more than I ever dreamed I would// I am sorry. I won't do that again without your permission," his words spilled out quickly and he was glad that he'd been able to keep his thoughts to himself. He'd never felt these feelings before, and it was frightening. Haldir was trying to help him and he was going to have to put a damper on the attraction he was feeling for the Elf.

 

//Offended me?  With the sweetest kiss I have ever known??// Haldir smiled and lifted his free hand to gently tilt Faramir's face up until their gazes met.  "Faramir," he said quietly, "you do not need my permission to kiss me.  Besides, I think it was I who kissed you first in your rooms."  //And I would give all the Mithril on Arda to kiss you again – right now.//  The Elf's thumb traced idly over Faramir's lips and Haldir's tongue unconsciously slipped out to lick at his own lips.  "If this……*person*…..who hurt you is to believe we are more than friends, we should learn to be more comfortable with each other.  So, please, feel free to kiss me, or touch me, anytime you see fit."  //If only you would kiss me or touch me because you *wanted* to, pen velui, and not simply to convince your abuser that you are protected now.//  Haldir's heart skipped a beat at the unbidden thought.  This was so unlike him…he simply wasn't the type of Elf to touch others, to speak with them softly, and think of them for hours on end.  //Gods…am I losing my mind?  Or simply my heart?  Or both?//

 

Faramir felt his heart speed in his chest as Haldir touched him so gently. As his thumb traced over his lips he found himself trapped by the Elf's shimmering gaze. His eyes slipped to Haldir's lips and it seemed the storeroom had suddenly become much hotter. "Thank you," he whispered unable to voice any of the multitude of thoughts running through his mind not the least of which that he'd very much like to kiss him now.

 

Hearing a familiar voice outside the doorway calling his name, Faramir stepped away, immediately regretting the loss of Haldir's touch and met one of his men at the door. He spoke to the young lieutenant and then turned back to Haldir who was patiently waiting for him. "I imagine you came to find me for the noon meal?" he asked.

 

Haldir sighed at the loss of contact and willed his heartbeat to slow.  //Remember….he wants to convince his abuser of our relationship.  He does not *want* a relationship!//  "Yes," he said, forcing a smile to his face and trying to make his tone as businesslike as possible.  "I hoped we could enter the dining hall together.  Leave no doubt in anyone's mind of who you are with now.  Unless you have reconsidered?"

 

Faramir smiled, "No, I've not reconsidered, I had worried that you had. Now I know better," he said softly. "We have a little bit of time, my father detests people arriving late, but I think we can take our time. I need to drop these figures off in my room first, I have a report to compile after the meal," he explained tucking the parchment under his arm, and holding his hand out to Haldir shyly.

 

Thinking that Faramir wanted to hold his hand only because they may encounter his abuser, Haldir reached out and curled his fingers around the captain's, smiling as they renewed their contact.  His arms ached to hold the young Lord close, but he was hesitant to make such a bold move. He had no idea if the coward who abused Faramir had crossed from physical abuse to sexual abuse, but would not have been surprised in the least if he had – and was more than a little afraid of pushing Faramir away.  //Besides, when his brother returns, Faramir will have no further use of me.  I should enjoy his companionship, enjoy holding him and touching him, but dare not dream of more.//   "I am at your command, pen velui," Haldir smiled, "and should be more than happy to accompany you wherever you wish to lead me."

 

Faramir smiled as Haldir took his hand and had to concentrate on keeping his heart from racing. "Mithrandir taught me a bit of Elvish," Faramir said as they began walking back up toward his room, "I am afraid I don't know the word pen velui though, or if I do, I do not remember it's meaning."

 

Haldir blushed slightly and gave Faramir a sheepish smile.  "It means 'lovely one'," he said softly. "It was the first word that came to mind when I saw you.  And it is the word that seems to slip from my lips whenever I speak of you."  If it was in Haldir's demeanor to lie, he would have covered his words with an explanation that would not embarrass his friend – he would tell him that the use of the term would surely convince anyone who heard them that they were in a relationship.  But, as he had told Faramir earlier – he never lied, and he only hoped he had not made the young man reconsider their plan.  Faramir *was* lovely, and already the Silvan Elf was dreading the day he would have to leave Gondor.

 

Faramir stopped walking and because their hands were still entwined Haldir stopped with him. Facing the Elf he shook his head, "I am not lovely," he protested softly. "I am anything but...I am plain, and unworthy of such remarks. You on the other hand, I always had heard the Elves were beautiful, but I do not have the capacity for words to describe your beauty, Haldir," he blushed brightly from his words and looked down.

 

Wishing that Faramir could see himself the way Haldir saw him, the Silvan Elf shook his head and squeezed the young man's hand.  "Pen velui," he said softly.  "Vanimle sila tiri.  That means 'your beauty shines bright'.  It does, Faramir, even though you may not see it.  As for me….Among the Elves, I am nothing out of the ordinary.  But you, Faramir, you are breathtaking, more beautiful than any Elf or man, and it pains me to hear you say differently."  Haldir's eyes widened in surprise at his own words, but he knew they were true, even as he spoke them.  He'd never been romantic by any stretch of the imagination, or even *nice*, truth be told, yet here he was, practically throwing himself at Faramir's feet!

 

Faramir's head was already shaking as Haldir spoke, "I wish you would not say such things. I do not deserve it," Faramir spoke softly. The only person who had ever called him beautiful was his brother and he knew that he only said that out of brotherly love. //He cannot find me beautiful. It just isn't possible to see something that is not there.//

 

Deciding that they may be at an impasse from the look on Haldir's face, Faramir nodded slowly, "Thank you," he said simply and then began to walk beside the Elf once more toward their destination. //He thinks I am beautiful? Maybe he means in spirit? Boromir always says I have a beautiful and kind soul...and Mithrandir has said the same...maybe that's what he means. He cannot mean physical beauty, because I have none of that.//

 

Haldir realized that no one had ever taken the time to help Faramir see his own beauty and strength.  If only he knew who had made the young Lord see himself this way!  And if only Faramir could possibly want more than a false relationship, one founded only to keep him safe, then Haldir realized that he would gladly spend a lifetime making him see how special and lovely he really was.  //No.  He does *not* want that.  He does *not* want you.  This is a relationship of convenience, and nothing more.  He is your friend, the only friend you have ever had, and only that.  He will forget you when you leave his city and return to your home. // 

 

As they entered Faramir's rooms, Haldir reluctantly released his hand.  "Would you allow me to move my belongings to your room?" he asked nervously.  "I am sure the……coward who hurt you will be watching us closely.  And I, of course, will find my sleep anywhere you like, if you would like to once again have your bed to yourself.  I don't wish to force my attentions on you when we are alone." 

 

Faramir set the parchments on his desk and turned to look at Haldir, "Of course, please go ahead," he said softly. "I...it is up to you but I think it might be more... believable if you slept here...in my bed," Faramir flushed as the words left his mouth. He knew it was for show but he had so enjoyed sleeping next to the Elf the night before. It truly was the first time he had slept well in years - it was as if Haldir's mere presence even protected him from his nightmares.

 

Haldir bit his lip and looked away, studying the books that lined the walls of Faramir's room.  Every time the young Lord's face flushed, Haldir found himself losing a bit more of his heart.  He was falling for the young Lord, falling hard, and could not seem to stop himself.  If only his attentions would be welcome.  Faramir had said he wished for them to share his bed, true, --- but only to make their story believable.   //It's not like he could feel anything for you anyway, you foolish Elf!  No one can!  You *will* be alone for eternity, and you know it.  And up until a few hours ago, you were fine with that notion!//

 

"Yes," Haldir agreed, forcing the emotion from his voice and nodding.  "We need to make this as believable as possible.  I understand that your brother will not return for some weeks, and I would take no chance that anyone doubt our story."  Unable to help himself, he continued almost against his will even as his face turned crimson.  "But I must admit, I am happy that I will be able to hold you again this night."

 

As Haldir said that he would be happy to hold him again Faramir's head snapped up and he looked at him for a moment. //Could...could he possibly be feeling the same thing I am?// "I will be happy for that too...I have never slept so peacefully," he said softly. Crossing the room to where Haldir stood he reached out and placed his hand tentatively on his arm. "I...find your nearness more than merely comforting," he said softly watching Haldir's eyes for any sense of revulsion at his admission.

 

Haldir's breath caught in his chest and he rested a shaking hand over Faramir's.  "Faramir," he murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat and telling himself to weigh his words carefully.  "I…I have found myself thinking of you all day.  I have looked forward to being with you again, and….and I had hoped to continue the kiss we began this morning.  I failed to tell you how much I enjoyed that kiss, brief though it was."

 

Faramir felt Haldir's hand tremble as it rested over his own and he found himself enthralled. //He thought of me? He wanted to continue the kiss?// Staring into the sparkling blue eyes he saw nothing but a look of sweet longing, the same look he knew was reflected in his own eyes. "I...I have thought about you all day as well. I can't tell you how many times I had to recount bedrolls or tents in the supply room because my mind would wander to thoughts of you," he whispered softly. "I know not what to do...the kiss we shared...I've honestly not shared many kisses in my life, and none as sweet."

 

Haldir dared to move closer, bringing Faramir's hand to his lips as he brushed a soft kiss across each knuckle.  His heart pounded uncontrollably in his chest and he struggled to hold on to the last vestiges of his control.  The look in the young Lord's eyes put aside any reservations Haldir had as he gazed into the beautiful blue eyes before him, and in that instant, the Silvan Elf lost his heart more completely than he'd ever dreamed he could.  Still holding Faramir's hand, Haldir's other hand moved to rest gently on the young captain's lower back, remembering where each scar and bruise lay, and taking care not cause him pain.  "It was the sweetest kiss I have ever known also," he said softly.  "And I feel I could lose myself in your arms for a lifetime, pen velui."

 

Faramir felt as if his heart might race out of his chest as Haldir moved closer and kissed his hand. "I believe perhaps our deception has turned to a truth," he spoke softly leaning in closer to Haldir. //I'm falling in love with an Elf! This can't be happening yet it is...and I can't stop myself.// He knew this could end badly, he knew what his father would say and do but he suddenly lost any sense of caring about that. His father could beat him until he was broken completely and it would not change what he felt in his heart. He was falling in love with Haldir. Had been, he supposed, since the night before. Closing the final few inches between them he pressed his lips gently against Haldir's, the kiss tentative and halting.

 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Haldir was more than ready for the kiss this time.  He pulled Faramir closer and released his hand, winding both arms carefully around his waist, making sure to avoid the mydrid of cuts and bruises he knew lay underneath the young man's tunic.  Faramir's lips were soft and trembling beneath his own, and Haldir's lips parted, allowing his tongue to slowly slide forth into the young lord's mouth.  He gently explored the delicious warmth, his eyes falling shut and his soft sigh lost within the sweet cavern behind Faramir's lips.  After long moments of savoring the taste, Haldir's tongue drew back, sliding along Faramir's and inviting it to venture forth and explore his own mouth.   

 

Feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach, Faramir lost himself in Haldir's kiss. The feel of Haldir's lips against his and his tongue sliding against his own was intoxicating. The man's hands tightened on the Elf's waist and pulled him closer still as his own tongue tentatively moved forward into Haldir's mouth. The heat, and sweetness was like nothing he had ever known. Soon the need for air was too great and he had to break away, feeling dizzy as he stared into beautiful eyes. He simply stared at the Elf, memorizing the look on his beautiful face before leaning forward to taste perfect lips again feeling that he could never get enough.

 

//Our deception has turned to a truth.//  The words rang in Haldir's mind again and again.  He lifted one hand up to rest on the back of Faramir's head and deepened the kiss, his body seeming to melt against his lover's as Faramir pulled him closer.  He could easily just stand here and kiss the young lord for hours, he thought as the room was filled with soft sighs from both their lips.  Pulling away breathlessly, Haldir gently let tendrils of Faramir's hair trail between his fingers as he stared into sparkling blue eyes.  "Faramir," he whispered softly, "could you ever see your way clear to love an Elf?" 

 

Faramir smiled adoringly at Haldir and nodded, "I think I already do," he whispered feeling his heart racing in his chest. Normally he might have checked his words and not so readily admitted his feelings, but something in Haldir's eyes spoke to him...telling him that he would be safe to admit how he felt.

 

Haldir's smile matched Faramir's own as he heard the words that fell from the sweet, kiss-swollen lips before him.  He'd never dreamed of finding love, never even thought it was possible for someone like himself, but there was no way he could *not* fall for this beautiful man in his arms.  Words he'd never in his life said, and certainly never thought, rested on his tongue and he brought both hands up to tenderly cup his lover's face.  "I love you," he said softly, staring into shining blue eyes and falling in love all over again.  "When your kinsmen see us together, they will not be seeing a lie, for you have truly captured my heart."

 

Faramir could not believe what he was hearing, what he was feeling in Haldir's arms. //How can anyone so perfect love me?// "I am not worthy of your love, Haldir, but I do feel the same. I have never felt this way before. I feel as if my heart may burst with joy just being here in your arms, kissing your lips," he said softly. Then he thought about their stations, their...differences. Haldir was an Elf.  He had seen so much in his long life and Faramir's short life was insignificant in the scheme of things. His father...Gods his father would be furious with him. "I...I am afraid that my father will be angry about this...about...us," Faramir said after a moment. When it was just a ruse he knew his father would be angry but Haldir would leave when Boromir returned...but what now? Will he still leave him?

 

Haldir's arms slid carefully back down Faramir's back, unwilling to let him go for even a moment.  He knew they should be leaving for the dining hall, but he simply didn't ever want to let this moment end.  Stepping toward a chair that sat against the wall behind them, Haldir sat down and gently tugged Faramir down with him until Faramir sat on his lap.  He rested his head on the young captain's chest and held him close for a moment before pulling back and staring into his eyes, noticing that they suddenly looked worried and more than a little afraid.  "I know your father does not like Elves," he said softly, "but surely he would have you happy?  I swear by the Valar, Faramir, I will do everything in my power to make you happy…anything and everything.  But something else seems to weigh on your mind.  Tell me, please, what you are thinking?"

 

Faramir smiled softly as Haldir pulled him down into a chair with him and curled his arms around his love. He bit his bottom lip afraid to ask the question playing in his mind but finally he decided that he had to know. "I...I am wondering what will happen now...when my brother returns will you still return to your home? Will you still leave...me?" he asked softly feeling ashamed at how needy his question had been.

 

Haldir's heart broke at the very thought of leaving Faramir, and he shook his head at once.  "I don't want to leave you," he whispered honestly, lifting one hand up to rest on the young lord's cheek.  His words were true…he didn't want to leave Faramir's side...and he had the distinct feeling somewhere deep inside him that that feeling would never go away.  "I will have to travel back to Lorien and speak with my Lord and Lady after your brother returns, but I have no doubt they will give me their blessing.  I have guarded the realm for centuries, and I believe they will be happy to see that I have finally fallen in love.  My Lady often told me my standards were too high – that I would never find an Elf perfect enough for me to fall in love with.  Little did I know that she said was true….that my heart would lie in the hands of a captain of Gondor."

 

Faramir stared disbelievingly at Haldir. //...that my heart would lie in the hands of a captain of Gondor.// He smiled happily and curled his arms around his love, kissing him tenderly. "You will leave your home for me?" he whispered in awe. "I...I don't deserve such honors...I truly don't, but I cannot bring myself to be selfless enough to deny that I don't wish for you to be by my side, always," he whispered. It was so hard to believe that he'd only met this incredible being the afternoon before, and he was already willing to give up his home in the Golden Wood he has heard so many wonderful things of. "You will be alright? Staying here? I know that Gondor could never be the home Lorien is to you," he whispered, worried that Haldir was making a mistake...making a decision too quickly that he will regret later.

 

Haldir gazed into Faramir's eyes for a moment, thinking of the Golden Wood that he'd protected for many long centuries.  It was the only place on Arda he truly cared for, yet it would hold little happiness for him unless Faramir lived within her borders, of that he had no doubt.  If he were to return, he would long for the young captain as he'd never longed for anything or anyone in his life.  "Pen velui," said whispered, "I have known you for less than a day, but I already know that my home is where ever you are.  I will find a place here, a place where my skills as a warrior can be put to use – and I would spend every minute of every day thinking of you, dreaming of you, and holding you at every opportunity, if you will allow me to do so."

 

"I will...my love, I will always want you near me," Faramir said softly resting his head against Haldir's shoulder. There was so much he needed to tell him...so much that might change his mind. "Do you mind if we have our noon meal here in my room? I do not feel like having to endure my father's scrutiny right now...and there are some things...some things we must discuss that may change your mind. May change how you feel about me," he whispered feeling his heart constrict in his chest. He didn't want to lose Haldir after he had just found him, but he could not keep secrets from him. It was not in his nature to deceive someone he cared for.

 

Haldir placed a soft kiss on Faramir's forehead and shook his head.  "Nothing in all of Arda will make me change my mind about loving you," he whispered.  "So, push that thought from your mind, I beg of you."  His fingers trailed gently through his lover's hair and he simply held him for long moments before he moved.  "I will tell the guard to find a servant to bring some food for us, and would love nothing more than to put my arms around you and listen to whatever you would like to share with me.  But it will *not* change how I feel.  You have my word, Faramir – nothing could make me stop loving you."

 

"I hope that is true, Haldir," Faramir said softly, "I truly hope what I have to say doesn't change how you feel about me." Faramir untangled himself from Haldir and stood up. "It's...about the identity of who hurt me and has hurt me since I was a small child," Faramir said softly unsure exactly where to start. He had never talked to anyone else about the abuse. Some guards knew of it, though not the extent, and some of the healers knew...they couldn't help but know.

 

Tears of pain and anger filled Haldir's eyes at the very thought of anyone hurting Faramir – and it sounded like the abuse had gone on for a very, very long time.  Rising from the chair, he blinked back his tears and shook his head.  He walked to the door and asked the guard to have someone send food for two to Faramir's room, then asked him to have someone send his belongings to Faramir's room as well.  The guard nodded, and Haldir closed the door, turning toward his lover and giving him an encouraging smile. 

 

Haldir crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, not sure if Faramir would want to be alone, or next to him as he talked about something so obviously painful – something that had apparently began in childhood.  "You heard me ask the guard to have my belongings moved into your room," he said softly.  "That is how sure I am that whatever you say will not change my mind." 

 

Faramir nodded and smiled softly. "Thank you for that," he whispered trying to decide where to start. "The...the marks you saw on me were inflicted by my father. It was why I had to leave so quickly yesterday. I knew if I tarried too long, that it would be even worse than what I thought...and in truth it was worse. He has been doing that to me since not long after my mother died when I was a small child," the words seemed to spill out flatly devoid of emotion, as if he were reading the words rather than having experienced them.  "It started out just a slap across my face if I said or did anything that displeased him, and...escalated from there over the years." Faramir stopped speaking and wrapped his arms around himself looking out the window. He was unsure how to go on...how to tell Haldir the full extent. Loving someone completely meant more than just holding one another, but would Haldir want him in that way knowing...about the other?

 

Haldir shook his head as he tried to make sense of Faramir's words.  //His adar did this to him?  Denethor hurt his own flesh and blood?  How in all of Arda could he raise a hand to his own son?//  Before he knew what he was doing, he'd moved off the bed and was standing behind Faramir, his chest pressing gently against his lover's bruised and beaten back, and his hands resting on Faramir's stomach.  "He had no right," he said softly, pressing his lips to the young man's temple and biting back the anger at Faramir's father that threatened to overwhelm him.  "No right to touch you, to hurt you, pen velui.  I have heard tales of men who would hurt their own children in this manner, but I never thought them to be true.  It *will* not happen again.  I will cut off his hands if he dares to lay another finger on you."

 

Faramir melted back into Haldir's arms and closed his eyes as he spoke softly. "I feared you would think less of me...but," squeezing his eyes shut tightly he felt his body shudder in Haldir's arms, "but that is not everything. Most everyone in Gondor knows I am Denethor's 'lesser son' as I said yesterday, most within these walls know that he has beaten me, though they do not breathe a word of it beyond this house...Boromir does not know of most of it. It is why he never marks my face or chest. The...the other...the other things… I know that with love and a relationship that you will want me physically...and you need to know that you will be with a man who is unclean. When I was thirteen he began...doing more than just beating me when he was angry," Faramir's words ground to a halt unable to give voice to the vile things his father had done to him over the last ten years.

 

Haldir took a deep breath and he knew at that moment that he could easily kill Faramir's father.  His teeth ground together and his eyes narrowed as he pictured *anyone* hurting their own child in that manner, and especially that pitiful excuse for a Steward hurting dear, sweet Faramir.  "Seron vell," (my beloved), he said softly.  "That Pen thaur  …that abominable one… who calls himself your father, is not worthy to breathe the same air you breathe.  I would find him and kill him where he stands if I did not have you in my arms."  Gently turning Faramir around in his arms, Haldir pulled him close, silver tears falling from his eyes and landing on his lover's face.  Haldir had never let anyone see him cry, at least not since he was of age, yet he was unable to stop his tears now.  "You are not unclean, melethen.  You are pure and perfect, and I love you."

 

As Haldir turned him around and he saw tears in his love's eyes his restraint broke and tears slipped down Faramir's face as his lover held him close. He sobbed quietly against Haldir's neck. "I do not deserve you, I truly do not, but I cannot let you go," he barely managed to utter the words as his body shook from the emotional turmoil roiling through him. "I...I have never told anyone this...not even my own brother," he whispered surprised at how it seemed to make his soul feel less burdened having shared his secrets with another.

 

Haldir's tears mingled with Faramir's as he pulled him even closer.  After a moment, he bent down and slid one arm beneath his lover's knees, lifting him easily, and carried him over to the bed, much as he had the night before.  This time, however, he settled Faramir in his lap, and leaned back to rest against the headboard as he cradled Faramir against his chest, rocking him gently, and kissing away his tears.  "My sweet Faramir," he murmured softly, "you have borne this burden alone for so many years.  You have more strength than anyone I have ever known.  But you will be alone no more, pen velui.  I will be beside you as long as there is breath in my body."

 

Faramir was surprised as Haldir scooped him into his arms and carried him to the bed. He remembered how that had felt the night before and wrapped his arms around his love, resting his tear stained face against the soft fabric of his tunic. "I am not strong, or I would have been able to stop it long before now," he said sadly. Curling closer to Haldir he closed his eyes and tried to relax into his gentle touch. //He has not rejected me, even after knowing all of this.// Faramir couldn't help but wonder how Haldir could possibly still want him after admitting all of that, but he thanked the Valar that he did.

 

"That is….that is why you were bathing so long last night," Haldir said, almost to himself.  "Why you were rubbing your skin until it was raw.  He…he did this to you last night, did he not?" 

 

Faramir nodded, his breath hitching as he tried to answer, "Y..yes," he murmured softly, "After I left you at the council chamber."

 

//So, his own father was using him while I was admiring the tapestries!//  "I am so sorry," Haldir said softly.  "If I had known, I would have made him stop.  I would have cut off his member and fed it to the pigs in the lowest levels of your city!"

 

Faramir shook his head; "You cannot say anything about this, Haldir. He cannot know that I told you...no one can," he said worriedly. "Promise me. Promise me you won't do anything," Faramir sat up looking into Haldir's eyes, his own thoughts frantic. "It will end now, he has always said that no one would ever love me except he and Boromir...now that I have found you, I don't believe he will ever touch me again."

 

Haldir saw the panic in his lover's eyes and felt his heart break all over again.  //He said that no one would ever love you?  My darling Faramir…he was so very wrong.//  "Please, melethen," Haldir pleaded, "he has hurt you.  I cannot let him go unpunished for everything he has put you through…." 

 

"No, Haldir, please...please do not. This is why Boromir does not know; he would kill his own father if he knew. I hate my father, I stopped feeling any love for him the first time he...he...I've not loved him for many years but he is the Steward. You want an alliance between Gondor and Lorien - killing the Steward is not the way to achieve that!" Faramir pleaded. "Please...it will end, yesterday was the last time. And knowing that I have you...I will be strong enough to deny him."

 

Haldir could see the rising panic in Faramir's eyes and reached out to pull him back into his embrace.  "Faramir," he whispered, holding his lover close, "please…I cannot stand to see you like this.  I would love nothing more than to make him pay for touching you, to be punished for every time he struck you, or harmed you, or….or ra...abused you.   It will be the most difficult task I have ever undertaken, but if you ask it of me, I will not touch him.  But if you ever reconsider, I will kill him without the slightest mercy or hesitation."

 

Faramir shuddered when Haldir said that he would kill his father without mercy or hesitation. Part of him wished he could allow it, but he could not. "Thank you," he whispered softly sinking into Haldir's arms again. Hearing a soft knock at the door he looked up at Haldir only just then remembering he had asked for his things to be brought and for food to be brought to them.

 

Haldir gently kissed Faramir's forehead and sighed.  "I will see to our food," he whispered as he carefully untangled himself from his lover and gently deposited him back on the bed.  Walking over toward the door, he continued.  "You, my pen velui, lie here and relax.  And unless you object, I will tell the guard to tell your company you have been called away on business for the afternoon, and will return to them tomorrow.  I would like to stay here with you for the rest of the day, and speak of happier times.  You could tell me of the good times in your life, and I could tell you tales of my Lord and Lady, and of the Golden Wood."  As he spoke, he took the food-laden tray from the servant with one hand, and a box filled with his belongings with the other.  He dismissed the servant and looked toward his lover, waiting for his answer before giving the guard who waited outside the door his instructions.

 

Faramir smiled, he knew he should not take the rest of the day off but he was still sore and would much rather spend time with Haldir. "That sounds wonderful, I would love to learn more about you and your past," Faramir said softly. He would still need to finish that report, but it was not a pressing matter.  He was still amazed that after all he told Haldir, he still wished to remain with him. //This is the kind of love I've read about but never dreamed I would feel. He stays, even after knowing what I've allowed all these years.// Faramir pushed all of the darker thoughts aside, wanting to learn more about Haldir, and think of happier times.

 

Haldir gave the guard his orders, and then brought the tray of food back to sit on the table by the bed.  He sat behind his lover and gently urged Faramir to lean back against him, careful not to put any pressure on his back.  "The fruits and sweets look excellent," he smiled, softly kissing the side of Faramir's neck, "but I think I shall find nothing as delicious as you, pen velui."  If Haldir had heard these words spoken earlier, he would have rolled his eyes and sneered, thinking that whomever would talk like that, would lay their soul bare in such a manner, was nothing more than a blithering idiot who wanted nothing more than a few hours pleasure.  But he meant every word…he honestly could not think of one single thing that tasted as sweet as the man in his arms.

 

Faramir's stomach rumbled and he almost laughed at himself. This would be the first meal he'd had since the noon meal the day before. As Haldir kissed his neck and teased him, he found himself giggling. Something he hadn't done in years and shook his head smiling, "You so easily find ways to make me forget everything and just feel happiness," he whispered.

 

Haldir smiled and wrapped his arms around his lover, taking both of Faramir's hands in his own.  "Your laughter is more beautiful than the sound of a thousand elves lifting their voices in song," he said softly.  //I will make you forget, Faramir.  I will spend the rest of our lives making you feel happiness and laughter, and more love than you can imagine if you will let me.//  Bringing his lover's hands to his lips, Haldir kissed the tip of each finger before releasing them and sliding the table within reach.  "Your stomach, however, threatens to drown out the sound of your laughter, so we should fill it at once," he teased, pressing another kiss to Faramir's temple.

 

~~~

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Faramir couldn't remember a time when he'd enjoyed writing an inventory report more. He was lying on his stomach writing out the report while Haldir sat beside him reading one of his books. The only distracting thing was one of Haldir's hands was trailing lightly up and down the length of his back. How the Elf knew exactly where each mark and bruise was to avoid them he didn't know...and didn't care as he tried to concentrate on the final few lines of the report. "You know...you are making it very difficult for me to write this don't you?" he asked wondering if he should have stayed at the desk in the corner, but happy that he hadn't.

 

Haldir laid his book on the table next to the bed and smiled at Faramir.  He hadn't really been able to concentrate anyway, as his eyes kept wandering to the man beside him.  He would never have thought it possible to fall so hard so fast, yet he couldn't stop thinking of Faramir…of his taste, his scent, his smile, his laughter, his gentle beauty.  "Oh," he grinned, "do you wish for me to stop?" His fingers crept underneath Faramir's tunic and ran carefully along his spine. "I could always go back to my rooms and leave you in peace. Wait…..*this* is my room now, so that would be out of the question." Leaning forward, the Silvan Elf stretched out next to his lover and rested his head on one hand. "I can't seem to help myself," he said softly. "I simply find you intoxicating, Melethen."

 

Faramir nearly snorted and had to strike out the last word on his report and rewrite it. "I'm anything but intoxicating...but I am glad you stayed here with me. It made dealing with all of these numbers much less boring," he said smiling. Gathering the parchments he stretched and laid them on the chest at the foot of his bed, wincing slightly when the damaged skin on his back reminded him of the marks there. Rolling onto his side he matched Haldir's pose and smiled, "We missed the noon meal, I'm sure we will need to make an appearance for dinner, your brothers may think you've been Elfnapped," Faramir teased as he watched Haldir's eyes sparkle in the lowering sunlight.

 

Haldir rested one hand on Faramir's hip, his thumb running in soothing circles over the light leggings that covered the young Captain's lower body. "I think they would welcome the very idea of someone taking me off their hands," he laughed.  "I will need to speak with them though.  There's no need for either of them to stay in Gondor any longer. I don't even want them around that……hûachaseb (cowardly dog)who calls himself your adar." Moving closer, Haldir pressed a chaste kiss to Faramir's lips. "I would keep you away from him if I could," he said softly. "So you wouldn't have to be in the same room with him, and wouldn't have to bear the thought of him looking at you."

 

Faramir sighed softly as Haldir's lips pressed to his and nodded, "I wish it were that easy," he whispered. He was still trying to come to grips with the very idea that Haldir, an Elf, cared for him. Said he loved him...was protecting him. He did not deserve this beautiful creature's love, but he could not deny that he felt the same. From the moment their eyes had first met he had felt a warmth run through him...as if he wasn't meeting someone new but someone he had known forever. "Will...will your brothers approve? Of...this, of us?" he asked curiously. What if Haldir's kin did not think it was right for him to be with a man and not an Elf like himself? What then? Would he bend to his kinsman's wishes?

 

"My brothers…." Haldir hesitated. "They will be happy that I have found love at long last. They may be….taken aback when they realize that I am actually capable of loving someone, to be honest, but they will accept our relationship." Wrapping his arms carefully around his lover, Haldir held Faramir gently and closed his eyes. "All of Lorien will love you, seron vell." He had no doubt that his words were true. His brothers would be shocked, but they would support his decision when they realized that this was truly where their eldest sibling's heart lay.  Like Haldir, Orophin and Rumil had figured that Haldir would live for an eternity as he had up until this point in his life…alone and quite happy to be that way, never desiring a relationship of any kind.  All of Lorien would be shocked, in fact. 

 

//Capable of loving someone?// Faramir was slightly confused by Haldir's words. The Elf who lay beside him was unlike anyone he'd ever known. Loving, kind, gentle...why wouldn't they think he was capable of loving someone? Listening as Haldir continued, he found himself smiling. Faramir nuzzled his face against Haldir's neck and felt his heartbeat skip. //He does love me. If he intends to tell his brothers, and his people...then he does truly care for me.// "I...think my brother will be happy for me too," he whispered softly. //At least I hope he is.// Faramir pulled back and looked at the serene face his fingers tracing lightly over the pale almost shimmering skin. "Are all Elves this perfect?" he asked softly.

 

Haldir smiled and gently caressed his lover's face. "Not perfect," he said softly, "though I have heard that we sometimes appear that way when we are truly in love and are loved in return." Closing his eyes, he held his lover close, inhaling the sweet scent that was uniquely Faramir's and smiled.

 

Haldir's mind wandered to Faramir's brother and he swallowed the lump in his throat, more worried about Boromir's reaction that his own brothers'. It had been clear from their first meeting that Faramir thought very highly of Boromir, and the fact that he'd said Boromir would kill their father if he knew that Denethor had abused him made him realize that Boromir must dearly love his younger brother too. If Boromir wished it, Faramir might change his mind and ask Haldir to leave at once. It was highly unusual for a man to fall in love with an Elf, and Faramir's older brother may not accept him as part of their family. His stomach clenched at the thought and he pulled Faramir closer. "I hope your brother won't hate me," he whispered.

 

"He won't hate you," Faramir said softly. "I...he's hot tempered and a bit over protective of me sometimes... but he will listen to me. To what I want," he said, remembering all the times that Boromir had been so vehemently against something, only to change his mind once Faramir had convinced him that it was what he wanted.

 

"I suppose we should make our way downstairs for dinner. My father will be expecting us since we were not at the noon meal. This...will be uncomfortable for both of us I am sure," Faramir said softly not looking forward to spending the evening under his father's scrutiny and truly hoping that Haldir's presence would achieve what they hoped.

 

Placing a soft kiss to his lover's forehead, Haldir sighed and slid off the edge of the bed. He entwined his fingers with Faramir's and gently helped him from the bed. "Are you in pain, Meleth?" he asked, straightening his tunic with his free hand and pushing his dread at sharing a meal with the one creature on Arda he had quickly grown to hate to the back of his mind.

 

"No, I feel much better than even a few hours ago," Faramir said softly. He gave Haldir's fingers a gentle squeeze and scooped up his report with his other hand. "I'll drop these off on our way. We will get through this together," he said as he saw a hint of *something* in Haldir's eyes. //He dreads sitting at that table as much as I do.//

 

Haldir smiled at his lover and nodded. "Always together," he agreed as they walked from Faramir's room and headed toward the dining hall. They walked slowly and Haldir watched Faramir intently, noting that he seemed as reluctant to enter the dining hall as Haldir himself did.

 

The Silvan Elf knew that his most difficult task would be refraining from confronting the Steward now that he knew his true nature, but he *had* promised Faramir he would not cause trouble. They dropped the report off and continued toward the entrance of the dining hall, where Haldir pulled his lover to a halt. "He cannot hurt you, meleth," he said softly. "I swear he will suffer if he dares to even try."

 

Faramir nodded slowly, "I...I cannot say I am not worried, but with you by my side it makes me stronger," he whispered. Leaning forward he pressed a soft kiss against Haldir's lips before drawing away and taking a deep breath. Squeezing Haldir's hand they turned and walked into the dining hall together. His father was just entering from the other side of the room and his eyes widened in a flash of anger as he saw the two of them holding hands. Faramir's gaze immediately drifted to the marble floor in front of him as they moved to their seats.

 

Rumil's eyes were wide as he watched his brother walk into the hall hand in hand with the Steward's son.  Elbowing Orophin in the side, he directed his attention toward the door, and both brothers stared at their eldest sibling as he and Faramir crossed the room and sat down.  Before Haldir said a word, Rumil's questions were frozen on his lips as he noticed a sparkle in Haldir's eyes that had never been there before.  

 

"You, tôr, (brother) are in love," Rumil said, his own eyes filled with shock at seeing his brother this way.  He couldn't have been more surprised, especially when Haldir simply nodded and actually smiled back at him.  The Haldir Rumil knew rarely smiled, and would normally have glared and directed a biting remark at him in response.  But *this* Haldir looked…happy?  //Is that even possible?//

 

"I am," Haldir smiled, resting his arm around Faramir's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.  "With a mighty Captain of Gondor, no less.  But we will speak of this after our meal.  Faramir has need of my attention….elsewhere."  Cutting his eyes across the table, Haldir's gaze steadily met Denethor's and he raised an eyebrow.  //Ah…you are not so quick to insult your son when he is not alone, are you, you coward?//

 

Denethor's eyes lifted from Faramir's and met Haldir's gaze.  Seeing the fire behind the Elf's blue eyes, the Steward quickly looked down at his plate, already planning on making Faramir sorry for this embarrassment at the earliest opportunity.  //I will kill them both.  That hideous Elf *dares* lay a hand on what is rightfully mine?  And that repulsive boy who thinks he could hold a candle to his older brother?  We'll see how quickly his smile is erased when I beat him within an inch of life…//  At that thought, his mind pictured Faramir naked and bleeding, legs spread wide and tied to his desk, whimpering in pain and humiliation, begging him to stop.  He would *never* stop…they both knew that.  The mental image made his cock stiffen immediately underneath his robes and he could almost taste how good it would feel when he buried himself deep in the boy's body, his thrusting made easier by Faramir's own blood - the only lube Denethor ever used.  "Faramir," he said with a cold smile on his face,  "I would speak with you after our meal.  Please report to my study……alone…before you retire."

 

Faramir felt his face flush as Haldir spoke to his brother, and then as his father spoke his mouth opened to speak but his words seemed caught in his chest. //report to my study...alone// He swallowed hard and looked down at his plate determined not to acknowledge his father's words for the moment.

 

Haldir cleared his throat and smiled politely at his host as he squeezed Faramir's hand.  "I do apologize, my *lord*," he said, keeping his voice low, and speaking the title with obvious distaste, "but Faramir and I have plans after our meal, then we shall retire to his room together.  You are most welcome to stop by and speak with him then.  I am quite sure you have a few words of……advice for me as well." 

 

Rumil gasped at the thinly veiled anger in his brother's voice and wisely kept his mouth closed as he waited for Denethor's caustic response.  He was further surprised when the steward's eyes narrowed and he nodded faintly, and then looked down at his plate.

 

Denethor's face flushed, and he clenched his fists under the table, his erection disappearing immediately.  Haldir's words were polite to anyone who was listening, and the steward couldn't make a scene in front of so many people.  //Worthless creature…pawing at the boy like that! And Faramir…such a whore!  I bet he's offered himself to that filthy Elf and his brothers a hundred times over, probably begs to be fucked at every opportunity!  When those animals finally leave my city, I *will* make sure the boy knows that he belongs to me, and *no one* else is to touch him.  IF I let him live, that is.// 

 

Haldir rested his forehead against Faramir's temple and squeezed his hand again underneath the table.  "I am sorry if I overstepped my bounds, seron vell," he whispered.  //But how else can we keep you safe?  He *must* know you are no longer his to abuse...and you deserve to live without this fear, my sweet captain.// 

 

Faramir shook his head slowly his eyes still fixed upon his plate. "You have not, I...I did not know how to answer," he whispered softly for only Haldir to hear. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest and he doubted he would eat much, if any of his meal. He simply wished to be out of that room and away from his father as quickly as possible.

 

"Faramir," Haldir said softly, squeezing his hand again and moving closer.  "We wanted him to see that we are together.  There will be no falsehood in my eyes as I look at you adoringly, and your….*steward*  will see that.  All of Gondor will see how I feel about you.  Please look at me, Pen velui - do not be afraid."

 

Faramir turned to meet Haldir's gaze and suddenly felt calmer gazing into his love's eyes. "Yes, we wanted him to see us," he whispered. He could feel Haldir's brother's staring at them across the table and tried his best to look up and pretend that he didn't feel an overwhelming desire to bolt from the room. The only thing keeping him there was Haldir's presence, his strength, and the calming feel of his hand in Faramir's.

 

Haldir's fingers stayed curled around his lover's throughout the meal as he picked at his food, glancing between his lover and Denethor repeatedly.  He noticed his brothers could feel the tension, and were unusually quiet and contained.  In fact, everyone in the room seemed on edge, and even Haldir felt restless.  Deciding to make no secret of their relationship, Haldir turned toward his brother and smiled.  "I have fallen in love with the steward's son, Rumil," he said loudly enough for Denethor to hear as he squeezed his lover's hand gently.  "I would ask you and Orophin to return to Lorien and inform our Lord and Lady that I will not be returning for some time."

 

The announcement brought smiles to the faces of almost everyone in the room, and several of the guests toasted the couple.  Haldir smiled and accepted everyone's good wishes, as his gaze drifted toward the head of the table.  Denethor sat perfectly still, his face frozen and his eyes cold as he stared at his youngest son. 

 

"I bid you all a good evening," he said abruptly, standing and pushing his chair back against the wall with a loud crack.  "The meal has been………….most enlightening.  And I think I will take you up on your offer to visit *my* son's room another night.  I find myself feeling ill at the moment."  Without another word, Denethor strode from the room, his robes flapping around his feet and his hands clenched at his sides.

 

As Denethor's chair scraped across the floor and slammed against the wall Faramir jumped, dropping his fork with a clatter, and he sat motionless staring down at his plate. He reached out to retrieve the dropped utensil and noticed that his hand was trembling. Quickly he pulled his hand back as if he'd been branded. Instead he sat with his shoulders hunched and his hands clasped in his lap. He could not bring himself to look up at Haldir's brothers whose eyes he could feel fixed upon him.

 

"What was *that* about?" Rumil asked Haldir.  "Does the Steward not wish for…."

 

Haldir raised one hand, cutting his brother off mid-sentence, his gaze never leaving Faramir.  "I am sorry, seron vell," he said, taking both of Faramir's hands in his own.  Trying to take the focus off of his lover, he spoke loudly enough so everyone in the hall could hear him.  "I find that I am suddenly tired and wish to retire.  Will you join me?"

 

Faramir nodded slowly as Haldir took his hands. "Yes," he whispered softly. Looking up briefly he could feel his face flush and he bowed slightly to Haldir's brothers. "Goodnight," he whispered.  As they stood, Haldir wrapped his arm around Faramir's waist, a movement that the man was more than grateful for. "I'm sorry," he whispered as they made it to the doorway, "I am sorry that I embarrassed you in front of your brothers. They must think you have fallen in love with a mouse."

 

Haldir lead his lover through the door and stopped.  He wrapped both arms around Faramir, holding him close.  "You could never embarrass me," he said softly, pressing his lips against Faramir's temple and feeling his lover tremble against him.  "I think my brothers are jealous.  I fear I may have to fight both of them for your affections after they have seen how handsome my Gondorian Captain is now that they have had the chance to inspect your sparkling blue eyes up close."

 

Faramir laughed nervously and shook his head, "I don't think that will be an issue...I don't think I looked up from my plate the entire meal," he said softly. "Please...let's just return to our room?" he asked still feeling unnerved but much calmer than he had moments before. Haldir's nearness seemed to soothe him.

 

"Of course, seron vell," Haldir said softly, keeping one arm securely around his lover as they walked back toward Faramir's room.  His anger at Denethor had steadily risen throughout the meal, but he was more worried about Faramir than anything else at the moment.  As they reached the door to their room, Haldir hurriedly opened it and stepped in, taking his lover back into his arms at once.  "I am so sorry," he whispered as he rained soft kisses over Faramir's face.  "He is angry, but we did expect that.  He will not have you to take his anger out on now, pen vuin (dear one).  You are safe.  He cannot hurt you."

 

Faramir sunk into Haldir's embrace and closed his eyes as feather light kisses brushed over his face. He felt treasured and wrapped his arms around his love. "I know...he cannot hurt me now," he whispered, "And I love you so very much and thank you for standing by me." No one except Boromir had ever stood with him against his father and even Boromir faltered in that sometimes. Wrapping his arms tighter around his lover Faramir kissed him tenderly, a soft and gentle press of lips but soon it turned to more. He knew that he was still trembling but now it was more from passion than from fear.

 

Haldir's arms tightened around his lover as Faramir's lips sought his own.  Sighing into the kiss, he pulled his love closer and welcomed the seeking tongue into his mouth, loving the way Faramir tasted, the way he tentatively explored the inside of his cheek, and licked at his teeth.  In all his many years, the Elf had never found anyone who had this effect over him – the ability to make his blood race through his veins and his heart pound in his chest with a simple kiss.  "I love you, Melethen," he whispered as he drew breathlessly away from the kiss to stare into sparkling eyes.  "You make my heart race and my body yearn for you more with every passing second."

 

Faramir smiled as he gazed into Haldir's shimmering eyes. "I feel the same way, though I have never...never been...I..." he trailed off unable to explain. He had never been with anyone other than his father, he had never kissed another except when he was a young boy and one of the kitchen maids kissed him quickly for helping her when she slipped and fell. His father had punished him for just that innocent kiss.

 

Haldir placed one finger underneath his lover's chin and let his thumb trail lightly over kiss swollen lips.  "You have never been….what, seron vell?"  he asked softly.  "Please, do not be ashamed to tell me anything.  I want to know everything about you – what you feel, what you are thinking, what you want….everything."

 

Faramir felt his face flush again, "I have never kissed anyone until you...my...he would not allow me to *be* with anyone. Even a once childish innocent kiss had earned his wrath," he spoke softly. "I...he is the only one I have ever *been* with," he said his voice halting unable to continue. He did not wish to think of *him* anymore. Faramir watched Haldir's eyes and felt himself shiver when he saw the realization dawn in the Elf's sparkling eyes. //Did I say too much? Will he still want me knowing that?//

 

"Oh, melethen," Haldir whispered softly.  "I didn't know."  //He has ruined so much for you, my beloved.  But he cannot ruin this…..he cannot ruin *us*.//  "I will show you what it is like to be loved, Faramir, really and truly loved.  I think I know how to do that now.  For every time he touched you, I will touch you a thousand times more, and my every caress will be with all the love and tenderness I possess until you forget that anyone ever touched you before me.  I will not make you regret loving me, Faramir."

 

Faramir smiled and shook his head, "I could never regret loving you, Haldir," he spoke softly but his words were clear and strong. Nothing in this world was he more certain of than that. He would never regret Haldir's love. "I worried...that you may not understand ...that you might think that I am simply too broken and not worth the effort, but I see that is not true, that will never be true."  

 

"You are not broken," Haldir whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair behind his lover's ear.  "You are perfect, and strong, and breathtakingly beautiful."  Taking Faramir's hand, Haldir led him over to the bed, where he lay down and gently pulled his lover to lie beside him.  "I could so easily drown in your eyes," he smiled, trailing his fingertip gently across Faramir's face.

 

Faramir leaned into the gentle touch and closed his eyes. "You are the perfect one," he whispered opening his eyes to gaze into Haldir's. "I cannot believe that you see all of those things in me. I have never known love before, but I know that is what I feel for you. And...and I'd like you to show me more...if...if that's what you would like," Faramir said softly. He was nervous, and in truth was still sore, but he wanted Haldir to erase *his* touch and replace it with a touch filled with love not anger.

 

Haldir felt as if all the blood in his body was suddenly rushing into his groin as Faramir spoke and stared at him with nothing but love and honestly shining in his eyes.  "I would love nothing more than to show you," he smiled, not even trying to quell the trembling in his voice as he gently pulled his lover closer.  "Are you certain?  This is something you truly want?"

 

"Yes, please Haldir, I want to know what it feels like to be loved by you...what it feels to be yours," Faramir said softly his heart racing in his chest, "Will you show me? Show me what it is to be loved, to erase the pain and the anger and replace it with love...your love." His eyes searched Haldir's hoping that he had said the right thing.

 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Haldir slid an arm around his lover's waist and buried his face in Faramir's neck.  "I would be honored to make love to you," he whispered as his arousal began to fill and harden at the mere thought of making love to the man in his arms.  He pulled back and placed a gentle kiss over Faramir's heart, then looked back up into wide blue eyes. "But…we don't need to do this tonight.  I know that after……after what happened last night, it wouldn't be comfortable for you, meleth, and I honestly cannot bear the thought of causing you one moment's pain."

 

"You won't," Faramir said softly. He was nervous, he was afraid that he would not be good enough, but he desperately wanted to know Haldir's touch...completely. Faramir's hand reached out and rested against Haldir's chest. His hand was yet again trembling as it trailed down his lover's chest. "I want to know what it feels like to be loved…you won't hurt me," he said confidently. //I want to erase *his* touch…but…what if Haldir is hesitating because he doesn't want to do this? What if he loves me but is revolted by the thought of following *him*? Someone so beautiful like Haldir deserves a lover who isn't so unclean…so tainted.// Nibbling on his bottom lip he tried to push the thoughts away as he looked into Haldir's eyes seeking them for any sign of revulsion.

 

Haldir studied his lover's face, seeing the doubt and worry that rested there.  "Gods, Faramir," he whispered softly, "you have no idea how much I want to make love to you."  He rained dozens of soft kisses on Faramir's face and neck, wanting him more than he'd ever wanted anyone in his life, but still afraid that he'd hurt him.   His hand slowly traced small circles over Faramir's stomach and he shook his head.  //He was just raped last night…he *has* to still be in pain, whether he'll admit it or not.//  In the back of his mind, Haldir was afraid that Faramir was only trying to prove that he loved him…but it was simply too soon.  "I just…we can wait until you're no longer in pain, meleth.  I'm not going anywhere, and we have all the time in the world to make love."

 

Faramir watched Haldir's eyes seeing the different emotions swirling within, a mingle of desire, love, and concern and no hint of revulsion though he still worried that Haldir was maybe only stalling. Not wishing to make love to him not only because of the pain but…because he would somehow feel Denethor's presence. Knowing that he was the last to take Faramir and not want that. Faramir wouldn't blame him if that was the reason. Drawing away slightly he sighed softly and shook his head. "I'm…I'm not in pain…//I've endured so much worse than what he did to me yesterday// but…if…if you don't want…I…we can just rest," he said softly unable to meet Haldir's gaze.

 

Feeling his heart almost stop as Faramir pulled away, Haldir lay beside him and placed a finger under his chin.  He gently tilted Faramir's face up until their eyes met.  "I *do* want to make love to you, Faramir," he said softly as he stared into shining blue eyes.  "Please don't pull away from me…I just…Gods…Did I say something wrong?  Did I hurt you already?"  His heart started to pound furiously as he wondered how he'd already managed to mess this up.  //Gods…I should have known I'd do something!  How did I think I could possibly learn to love someone overnight and *not* make a mess of it?//  He held his breath, trying not to panic as he buried his face in Faramir's neck and fought back his tears.  "Please, love…what did I do?  What did I say?" 

 

Faramir felt his heart ache in his chest as he heard how worried Haldir was, and how he was blaming himself for Faramir's imperfections. "You…you didn't do or say anything wrong, love," Faramir said softly. "I…I am just worried. I'm afraid that the reason you wish to wait…is more than…is that you feel you won't…enjoy it because you will *feel* that my father had me yesterday evening." 

 

Haldir closed his eyes and began shook his head vehemently.  // Gods…he thinks I don't *want* to make love to him?//  "No," he whispered as he moved back to stare into Faramir's eyes.  "No. No. No.  That's not true…that'll never be true, and that thought never crossed my mind, not for a single instant.  When we make love, meleth, I know, without the slightest doubt that the only thing I'll feel is *you*…the man that I have fallen so deeply in love with, and the man I will love with all my heart for all eternity.  Your body, your love, your pleasure, your pain…that is all I will feel…nothing he could ever say or do will change that."  Entangling their fingers, Haldir gave Faramir's hand a gentle squeeze.  "I meant what I said, seron vell – I would be honored to make love to you…if you still want that - be it tonight, or tomorrow, or months from now." 

 

Faramir was shocked by Haldir's reaction. //He really does mean it!// He felt his heart skip in his chest as he smiled at his love. "I…I do still want you, Haldir. I want you to show me what it is to be loved…and made love to. I want to know what it's like not to be used in anger, but to be loved. Please…show me," he whispered.

 

Haldir leaned in and pressed a kiss to Faramir's lips, pulling him close once again.  "I'll show you love," he whispered, "I'll never, *ever* show you anything but love.  But…no matter what we're doing,  I need to know that you'll tell me if I hurt you, and you need to know that I'll stop, meleth.  I promise I'll stop, no matter what.  Will you promise to tell me?" 

 

Feeling relief wash over him from Haldir's words Faramir smiled. "I will," Faramir said softly. He wanted Haldir, he loved him, and more than anything he wanted to know what it felt like to be taken that way with love not anger.  Nibbling nervously on his bottom lip as his fingers drifted back to the laces of Haldir's tunic, he fumbled slightly and smiled. "My fingers do not want to cooperate," he teased. He wanted this moment to be perfect, and a small part of him desperately wanted to see his beautiful lover. Haldir had seen him in the baths and when he tended his wounds, but Faramir had yet to get the chance to see his lover without his clothing and he found his earlier worries melt into a new nervousness.

 

Haldir's own fingers were none too steady as he began working on Faramir's laces, and his breath hitched in his throat as his lover's chest and abdomen were exposed.  "I saw you last night," he said softly, "but I dared not dream I would see you again as my lover."  Gently pushing the tunic from Faramir's shoulders, being careful not to cause him to strain still tender muscles, Haldir threw the garment to the floor and urged Faramir to lie back on the cool sheets.  Realizing that his own tunic was now unlaced, he shrugged out of it, and left it unnoticed on the bed, his entire mind and body focused solely on the man before him.  Leaning over, he pressed soft kisses to Faramir's neck, and then trailed down to gently run his tongue over his left nipple, stopping only to place another kiss reverently over his lover's racing heart.

 

Faramir watched seemingly mesmerized as Haldir's upper body was revealed to him. He found himself riveted as his lover leaned over him, the smooth hairless skin of his chest almost shimmering in the candlelight. Faramir found the curtain of long silken hair dancing against his skin added to the overwhelming feel of being touched so gently by this perfect being. He gasped softly as Haldir's tongue moved against him and then smiled as a soft kiss was placed over his heart. He let his fingers slip into the curtain of soft blond hair and arched up against his lover's lips without thinking. "You are so beautiful," he whispered in awe. He had never in his life seen anyone more beautiful.

 

Kissing his way across his lover's chest, Haldir closed his eyes and sighed in contentment as Faramir gently wound his fingers in his hair.  He made his way slowly to the small nub of flesh on the right side of Faramir's chest, gently sucking and licking until Faramir trembled beneath him.  Moving to lie beside his lover, Haldir continued raining soft kisses over his body, untying the laces and working his leggings down carefully.  His hands gently lifted up Faramir's hips, and he pulled the leggings over the still bruised and sore backside, then moved his hands to the front, where he gently worked the fabric down, exposing Faramir's hard length.  Haldir had never seen a man unclothed, and they were very different from Elves in so many ways.  His hand gently trailed over Faramir's arousal, as he looked up to meet his lover's gaze.  "You are the beautiful one," he whispered as he worked the leggings further down over long legs and finally discarded them in the floor next to the tunic.  "I have never seen such perfection."

Faramir moaned softly as Haldir's hand moved over his arousal feeling his heart speed up even more, "Gods," he whispered. Haldir's gentle touches were like nothing he'd ever felt before. He watched his lover as he moved over him and felt himself get impossibly harder just from the sight of him. He was so perfect, his skin so smooth and unblemished. Seeing Haldir's fingers move to the lacing of his own breeches Faramir began to roll over.

 

Haldir's fingers were about to close over his lover's arousal just as Faramir began to move.  "Melethen," he said softly, moving back up until he was face to face with Faramir, resting his hand on his lover's hip.  Staring into lust-darkened blue eyes, he shook his head, lifting his free hand up to gently cup his lover's face.  "Where are you going?"

 

Faramir gasped as Haldir stopped him and he lay back looking up at his lover. "I was...I was rolling over for you," he whispered in confusion. //Isn't that what he wants?//

 

//Rolling over for me?  What….?  Gods, he…he knows no other way…//  Pressing his lips against his lover's for a soft kiss, Haldir's fingers gently combed through Faramir's hair.  He pulled back and shook his head.  "I want to look at you as I make love to you, pen velui.  I want to look into your beautiful blue eyes and watch as my name falls from your perfect lips.  Please don't turn away from me."

 

Feeling lost in his lover's kiss Faramir stared up into Haldir's eyes as he pulled back. "But..." he started to protest and then stopped. Haldir knew more about such things than he did. "I would like to see your eyes as you make love to me too," he whispered softly. He realized how truly inexperienced he was and closed his eyes. //I hope that I am able to pleasure him the way I'd like. I hope my lack of experience doesn't ruin this moment.// Opening his eyes again he leaned up and pressed his lips to Haldir's. "Please...go on, my love."

 

Haldir smiled and let his fingers move over his lover's shaft once again as he gently nibbled Faramir's full bottom lip.  "Thank you," he whispered.  Pulling away for only a moment, he quickly divested himself of his own leggings and reached over to the nightstand for the oil lamp that sat against the wall.  Unscrewing the lid, he dipped his fingers into the oil, coating them thoroughly and moved back to his lover.  Positioning himself between Faramir's legs, Haldir leaned over to take his lover's arousal between his lips, letting his tongue slide over the head, gathering the drops that were leaking steadily out of the tip.  //You are delicious, my beloved Faramir.  Just as I knew you would be.//  This was an act he'd never cared to perform on anyone else, preferring to let others pleasure him, yet now, his mouth was practically watering to taste the young captain's essence.  He tried to remember how others had moved their mouths over him, tried to make this good for Faramir, yet at this he was a novice.  Pushing all thoughts aside, he simply let his instincts take over, licking and sucking on the organ between his lips, lavishing every slick inch with his tongue as his fingers wrapped gently around what his mouth could not accommodate. 

 

Licking his lip after Haldir pulled away Faramir smiled and then his breath caught in his throat as Haldir removed his leggings. He had never seen an Elf naked before and found the sight of his lover intoxicating. He began to wonder yet again what Haldir could possibly see in him. Soon that thought disappeared as his lover's mouth sunk around him, drawing a deep moan from him. Having never experienced what that felt like before, his hands tangled into the bedclothes and he tried desperately not to thrust up into the inviting heat surrounding him.

 

Haldir's arousal twitched violently as Faramir moaned, causing the Elf to moan loudly himself.  He knew his lover was most likely still sore and tender from his last… experience, and he could not bear to think of causing him more pain.  Sinking his lips down around his lover's shaft, Haldir relaxed his throat, taking him in slowly, until he felt the soft hairs at the base of Faramir's arousal brushing against his face.  He'd never felt that sensation before, and he found that it excited him all the more to experience this with Faramir.  His oiled fingers gently slid over his lover's heavy sacs to caress the smooth skin behind them, then moved further down to circle his puckered entrance.  Continuing to slide his lips up and down the thick organ in his mouth, he listened carefully for any signs of discomfort, and with glacial slowness, using all the willpower he could muster, Haldir slid his finger inside his lover, gasping at the heat that surrounded it as soon as he breached the tight guardian muscle.

 

Finding himself lost in his lover's touch Faramir barely registered the feeling of a slick finger pressing against him. Resisting the automatic response to tense up, he bit his lower lip and concentrated on the feeling of the warm mouth surrounding him. He was still sore, but he wanted this. He needed to feel Haldir and not *him*. Letting his body relax and allow his lover to press inside him, he moaned softly again, tears prickling at his eyes as he realized just how incredibly gentle and careful Haldir was being with him. In that moment he surrendered completely to his lover, and felt the slick finger slide deeper within him.

 

As Haldir felt his lover's body accept him, he began to gently move his finger in slow circles, stretching the muscle as carefully as he possibly could.  His mouth continued working Faramir's length, taking him in deep, swallowing around the head, and pulling back slowly, only to repeat the action again and again.  When his finger moved freely inside his love's body, he gently added a second digit, pressing forward as slowly and carefully as he had the first.  He scissored his fingers bit by bit, stretching the tight muscle gingerly, praying to the Valar that he was not causing him any more pain.  Knowing the best way to relax his lover, Haldir redoubled his efforts on the shaft in his mouth as he curled his fingers to rub against the small bundle of nerves hidden deep inside.  "Let go," he murmured, feeling his own arousal leaking profusely and beginning to ache.  "Come for me, melethen."

 

Faramir's heart felt as if it may beat out of his chest as his lover swallowed around him over and over again. Forgetting any pain, his hips tentatively began to move forward into his lover's mouth and back onto the fingers moving inside him. There was a dull ache but he ignored it in favor of learning what it was to be loved...truly loved. Nothing had ever been so perfect, and then all thoughts were obliterated completely when Haldir's fingers brushed something within him. His mouth opened in a wordless moan and he soon found his release spilling warm and slick within his lover's mouth. "I love you," he moaned over and over again as his body trembled under his lover.

 

Haldir swallowed his lover's release, and then slowly pulled his fingers from Faramir's body as he cleaned him with his tongue.  He'd never wanted anyone as much as he wanted Faramir right now, and hearing him declare his love was the sweetest sound Haldir had ever heard.  No one had *ever* said they loved him, and he certainly had never dreamed three small words could bring such joy to his heart. 

 

Breathing heavily from his own desire, Haldir reached for the oil again with trembling fingers, a low moan escaping as he slicked his own aching arousal.  Moving back up to kiss Faramir again, his tongue slid against his lover's and he moved back to stare into glittering blue eyes.  "You are sure, Melethen?" he asked softly.

 

Faramir shuddered as his lover continued to lick and clean him. Watching as Haldir prepared himself, he swallowed hard and realized he was still trying to catch his breath. When Haldir's lips met his and his tongue slipped against his own he moaned into the kiss, tasting himself mingled with the sweet flavor that was uniquely his lover's. "Yes. Please, love," he whispered surprised by how breathless his own voice sounded.

 

Knowing his lover was as relaxed and ready as he could possibly be, Haldir took his own arousal in one hand and pressed the swollen head to Faramir's entrance.  He lifted Faramir's legs to wrap around his waist and took a deep breath, forcing himself to go slowly.  Gazing intently into the blue eyes beneath him, his fingers wrapped around Faramir's hips, lifting them up, and he slowly pressed forward, moaning as the head of his arousal slid into velvety tightness.  He stopped, breathing heavily, as he waited for Faramir's body to adjust, then carefully slid forward again, inch by inch, until he was fully seated deep inside the tight channel.  "I love you, melethen," he whispered shakily as he leaned forward and buried his face in Faramir's neck, his entire body trembling as he fought against the almost overwhelming urge to thrust. 

 

Faramir's fingers tightened in the sheets and he concentrated on staying as relaxed as possible as Haldir's thick shaft pressed inside him. He bit his bottom lip from the slight ache but his lover's gentleness and patience helped him relax even more and soon the ache eased. Staring into Haldir's eyes and hearing his words of love his eyes began to tear. "I love you my beautiful Haldir," he whispered in return as his lover rested against him. He felt *complete* for the first time in his life. As if he had been broken his entire life and just found the missing piece of himself. Slowly he moved his hips slightly and wrapped his arms and legs around his lover. "Don't stop," he whispered wanting Haldir to move...to make him forget the past and burn this moment into his memory for all time.

 

Haldir rocked his hips gently, reveling in the feeling of being inside the beautiful body of the man he loved.  Rising up and resting his weight on one arm, his free hand caressed Faramir's face as the young captain smiled up at him.  Pulling back, he made several slow and shallow thrusts before pressing forward, fully sheathing himself deep inside his lover's body once again.  "Matho nin, my love," Haldir whispered.  "Feel me."

 

Faramir's arms and legs tightened around his lover as he moved within him. Nothing in his life could have prepared him for the exquisite sensation of being taken by the one who loved him. His whispered words made the young man smile even as his eyes teared; all in the world he could feel was his lover. It was all in the world he wanted to feel. He found himself entranced by the shimmering blue eyes above him and leaned up to kiss Haldir, pouring all of himself into the deep kiss.

 

Haldir's tongue slid into Faramir's mouth as his arousal moved within the depths of his body.  The golden haired Elf took his time, moving slowly and sensuously; wanting to make Faramir's first time of truly being made love to something he would always remember.  Delving deep inside his lover, he moaned into the kiss, sliding one hand underneath Faramir's head as the other slid between their bodies to stroke the arousal that lay trapped between them, already hard and leaking once more.  He continued to move slowly, his hand upon Faramir's cock moving in time with his thrusts deep into the warmth of his body.

 

Feeling completely lost in his lover Faramir's moans joined Haldir's until the only sounds in the room were soft moans. How was it someone could capture his heart so completely in so short a time after waiting his entire life to feel this loved? His lover's lips upon his own and his tongue and hand upon him moving in time with their bodies drew him closer and closer to the edge once again. Breaking away from the kiss for sheer need of air he stared up at his lover. //So perfect, does he feel what I am? Is it always this way when you love someone? Is it just because Haldir is an Elf? Or...is what I feel special, completely unique to us?//

 

Haldir breathlessly stared into his lover's eyes as he continued moving within him.  He never wanted this moment to end, but could feel himself beginning to lose control, knowing his release was near.  His fingers tightened on Faramir's arousal, encircling the rigid shaft and stroking firmly, his thumb swirling over the head, spreading the thick fluid that was steadily leaking out from the slit over the hard column of flesh from root to tip.  His thrusts became deeper as he suddenly felt enveloped in a golden warmth unlike anything he'd ever felt before.  //What is this?  This….this isn't possible.  Not for an Elf and a man.//  Biting his lip, he focused once more on his lover's blue eyes and gasped.  "Now, seron vell," he whispered.  "Come with me now."

 

Faramir felt as if something inside him had unfurled like a banner in a breeze as his body stiffened and his release began to wash over him at Haldir's whispered words. He felt *something* surround the two of them binding them together for a moment. It was as if Haldir were a part of him, and he felt completely overwhelmed. Crying out as his release spilled over his lover's hand, tears of happiness slid down his face. Trembling beneath his love, he realized he had never felt anything as powerful or as perfect in his life.

 

As Faramir's release spilled over his hand and already tight muscles milked his arousal, Haldir lost all control and thrust in deeply one final time.  "Gods, meleth," he cried out as his release spilled deep inside the convulsing passage, his entire body trembling as his cock continued to pulse inside his lover.  Lowering himself to lie on top of Faramir, Haldir's arms slid underneath his shoulders, holding him close as their bodies continued to shiver against each other.  "Melin chen," he whispered into his lover's ear.  "I love you."

 

He moaned softly as Haldir's release pulsed inside him and Faramir's arms curled around his love holding him close as he rested against him. "And I love you," he whispered against his lover's ear as he continued to tremble in his lover's embrace. His fingers trailed through soft golden hair and smiled against Haldir's neck. "I have never felt anything like that," he whispered softly.

 

//Did he feel the same thing? No…of course he didn't.  He couldn't have.  It was…..my imagination. I felt what one feels the very first time he truly makes love, instead of simply having sex.//  Gently sliding from his lover's body, Haldir rolled to one side, holding Faramir close.  "You felt what it was like to truly be loved," he whispered, "and I felt what it was like to truly love someone, seron vell.  A feeling that I have not truly known before in all my long life."

 

Faramir smiled and traced his fingertips along Haldir's cheek. "In all of your life you have never known love? I...I find that unbelievable," he whispered softly as he stared into sparkling eyes. Snuggling closer to his lover he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. //This is the most incredible feeling I've ever had in my life.// "Is it always like that with someone you love or just always that way with Elves?" Faramir asked softly.

 

Haldir gazed adoringly at his lover, turning his head to kiss the palm of Faramir's hand.  "I have never been with anyone who was not Elven born," he said, "And even then, I never made love.  What we just shared…it was a first for me as well."  //It is like the tales of the joining of faers.  But that isn't possible.// 

 

Faramir was oddly proud to be the first person man or Elf that Haldir had ever 'made love to'. He had never known such gentleness before now, and felt treasured beyond words.

 

"Look into my eyes, meleth," Haldir whispered as he reached for Faramir's hand and entangled their fingers,  "did I cause you pain?"

 

"No...no you did not hurt me," Faramir said softly. "I've never not known pain during..." he trailed off softly and stared into Haldir's eyes. "Truly, I have never in my life felt more loved than I do in your arms."

 

"Oh, seron vell," Haldir whispered.  "I'm so sorry.  So very sorry for all that you have been through."  Pulling Faramir closer, Haldir buried his face in his lover's hair.  //By the Valar, I would like nothing more that to kill him for hurting you.// 

 

Faramir pulled back and traced his thumb over Haldir's soft lower lip. "You have nothing at all to be sorry for, my love. Now that I have found you, I will never know pain again," he whispered. "Even if this were only for one day knowing what it is to be loved by you would last me an eternity."

 

Haldir's arms tightened around his lover and he shook his head.  "It's not for only one day. Don't even *think* that."  Leaning up on one elbow, he looked down at his lover.  "Melithon chen uireb.  That means I will love you forever.  Remember that, seron vell – I will love you forever."  He had never even offered a few hours in his bed to anyone before Faramir, yet he was ready, without the slighted doubt or hesitation, to offer his entire life to the man in his arms.

 

Faramir felt his breath catch in his chest as Haldir stared down at him, love shining in his eyes as he spoke. Reaching up to cradle his lover's face in his hand he smiled softly. "And I will love you forever," he whispered. He had never loved anyone in his life the way he did Haldir, not even his own brother who he had loved his entire life. This was different, what he felt for Haldir was overwhelming, frightening, and beautiful all at once. "When you made love to me, I felt as if I were surrounded by a comforting warmth, protected and loved...the deepest love I will ever know."

 

Haldir's breath caught in his throat.  "You felt that too?" he whispered.  "I….I thought…I thought I had imagined it.  It is not possible…."  His words trailed off and he shook his head.  "It has to be that we are both in love for the first time, seron vell.  That is the only explanation for what we both felt."  With a soft smile, Haldir lay next to his love once again, sighing contentedly. //But I will speak to my Lady about this when I return to Lorien.  She will help me understand how this could happen.//

 

Faramir turned to look at Haldir, //What was it? What isn't possible?// Deciding that he was far too tired to press his lover for answers he shifted slightly and rested his head against Haldir's chest his ear over his heart. "I love listening to your heart beat under my ear...I've truly never slept better than I did last night."

 

Haldir smiled at his lover, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, and pulled the blanket over them both.  "Sleep, meleth," he whispered, letting his hand trail gently over Faramir's back.  "I will guard your dreams and keep you safe." 

 

Snuggling closer Faramir allowed his eyes to slip closed. "Sleep well my love," he whispered as the soft rise and fall of Haldir's chest and his strong heartbeat lulled him to sleep.

 

Watching Faramir's face relax, Haldir felt happier than he'd ever felt in his life.  He carded his fingers through Faramir's hair, and lay for hours, remembering the incredible feeling of truly being at one with someone for the first time in his life.  "I promise to love you forever," he whispered softly, curling his fingers around Faramir's before finally drifting off to sleep himself.

 

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Faramir awoke slowly feeling warm and safe. Tilting his head slightly he could see his lover's face in the dim light cast from the dying fire and the faint light of the moon filtering into the room. Remembering Haldir's words from the night before he felt his heart skip in his chest. //"I'll show you love. I'll never, *ever* show you anything but love.// He snuggled closer and just watched his lover sleep. //I can't believe you love me. How *can* you? Whatever it is you see in me, I will do anything to keep you from regretting your heart's decision to love me.// No one had ever made him feel this loved, the night before when Haldir had spoke those words, Faramir had been unable to believe them, part of him afraid to even acknowledge them for fearing he hadn't heard right.

 

Then Haldir had made love to him, so gently, so carefully, and with such love...he knew those words were spoken from the heart. Faramir felt like a fool for ever even doubting. Shaking his head at himself he smiled sleepily and moved up to press a soft kiss against perfect lips, and then placed soft kisses along the strong jawline. His lips continued their gentle assault along the smooth column of his lover's neck until he came to an elegantly pointed ear. Curiously he leaned forward and licked across the tip surprised by the shudder the action seemed to elicit from his lover. Pulling back he smiled and then leaned in and pressed another tender kiss against soft lips.

 

Haldir sighed into his lover's kiss, waking up slowly from one of the deepest, most relaxing night's sleep he could ever recall.  //Faramir.  This isn't a dream…he's real…he's here.// His arms automatically tightened around the warm body next to him and a smile touched his lips before his eyes even opened.  His ear was still tingling and he chuckled.  "It seems you have found my weakness, seron vell," he whispered, pressing his lips to Faramir's.

 

Faramir laughed softly, "That I did. I am sorry to wake you so early, the sun won't rise for a few more hours, but I could not sleep anymore," he whispered. Sliding down he placed soft kisses across warm smooth skin of his lover's chest and experimentally licking and teasing a dark nipple. "And when I woke up I realized that I didn't get to do something last night that I had wanted to," Faramir whispered his warm breath ghosting across his lover's chest. 

 

Haldir's body arched into his lover's touch as one hand curled into the bed sheets and the other tangled in Faramir's hair.  He knew he would never tire of the way those delicious lips touched his skin, and the way the young captain's smile warmed every last corner of his heart.  Faramir's warm breath caused the Silvan Elf to shiver with desire and his eyes fell shut as a soft sigh escaped from his lips once again.  "And what, pray tell, would that be, my handsome captain?" he managed.

 

"I was so caught up in your touch last night, that I failed to fully learn the taste and texture of your skin against my lips and tongue."  Faramir spoke more boldly than he ever had before. He knew he must be blushing but he didn't think his lover would mind. He dipped his head lower and moved down tracing a path down the Elf's perfect body to his stomach. Looking up at Haldir he smiled, "It is truly the sweetest taste I have ever known," he whispered as his fingertips followed the same path his mouth had.

 

Haldir lifted his head and smiled at his lover, his breath hitching as he watched Faramir's lips ghosting over his skin.  Biting his bottom lip, he finally let his head fall back on the pillow and tried to calm his racing heart, amazed at how quickly the young lord could arouse him.  "I'm glad you approve," he murmured, "for I feel the same.  Nothing has ever tasted sweeter on my lips than you do, meleth."

 

Faramir smiled, encouraged by his lover's reactions. This would be the first time he had ever wanted to touch another in this way and his heart was beating rapidly in his chest. Moving lower he found himself under the bed covers and pushed them back with one hand while the other wrapped around his lover's arousal. Gently stroking up and down the length he lowered his mouth around the head teasingly. This was an action he had never enjoyed but with Haldir it was something he wanted...needed to do. Slowly his mouth sunk around the hard column of flesh until it touched the back of his throat. Swallowing, he let his eyes sink closed and enjoyed the beautiful soft moan that fell from his lover's lips feeling his own arousal twitch violently. Just the taste of his lover and his soft moans could make him come undone.

 

"Gods, love," Haldir moaned, forcing himself not to thrust into the inviting heat.  He would never have expected Faramir to take the initiative like this, and the vision of his lover smiling and moving over him made him impossibly harder.  He forgot to breathe for a moment as his arousal was engulfed in the heat of Faramir's mouth.  With a soft whimper, he felt his cock twitch within the warm confines and begin to leak onto the back of his lover's tongue.  "Gods, Faramir," he repeated as eager lips sunk around his arousal again and again. 

 

Faramir felt emboldened by Haldir's reaction and could taste the proof of his lover's desire on the back of his tongue. He continued to move up and down the length feeling more confident with each stroke that he was pleasing his lover. After several long minutes he pulled away licking at the head one final time and smiled. "I love you," he whispered. Running his fingertips along the smooth warm skin of the inside of Haldir's thigh he moved back up his lover's body to kiss him deeply. His tongue slowly moved along Haldir's until they were both breathless.

 

Writhing beneath his lover's touch, Haldir took a deep, shaking breath and gave himself over to their kiss.  His hands trailed over sleep-warmed skin and he slid one hand between their bodies to find Faramir's arousal, already hard and warm as his fingers closed over its length.  "And I love you, my beautiful captain," he whispered, shifting his hips and rubbing his arousal against his lover's thigh.  "More every passing hour."

 

Gasping softly as warm fingers wrapped around him, Faramir's eyes closed and he arched into the touch reveling in the feel of his lover's body moving against his own. He was not completely healed from the abuse he had endured, and though Haldir had been gentle last night he was still a bit sore. He decided that did not matter - all he knew was that he wanted Haldir, and that he wished to please him in every way he could. "Show me your love," he whispered caught up in the exquisite wonder of his lover's touch.

 

Pulling Faramir closer, Haldir gently rolled to one side until the young lord lay beneath him.  He reached blindly beside them to dip his fingers in the oil from the lamp that lay on the bedside table from the night before and generously coated his fingers.  "Yes, seron vell," he whispered, kissing his way down Faramir's neck and gently marking the skin over his collarbone.  Trailing his fingers over his lover's arousal, he moved downward and let a single digit gently circle his entrance.  "Tell me if I hurt you," he whispered.

 

Tipping his head back so that Haldir could kiss his neck more Faramir moaned softly as he realized that Haldir was marking him. //I am his, completely.// As a slick finger moved against him he schooled his features and tried to relax. He nodded when Haldir spoke but he could not bring himself to say that it already ached. He had endured much worse pain over the years than this and he wanted so much to please his lover. As Haldir's finger pressed into him, Faramir tried to stop the slight wince that crossed his face but was unable to.

 

Haldir had been watching Faramir's face carefully and felt his heart clench as his lover winced.  Never before had the discomfort of his bedmate concerned him, yet this time, he stopped immediately and gently removed his finger.  He let his hand rest on Faramir's stomach, rubbing in soothing circles.  "I'm sorry...I just...I can't hurt you," he whispered, pressing his lips to his lover's cheek and pulling him close.  "You're still sore, meleth.  I'm so sorry.  I shouldn't have been so selfish and taken you last night. If I had waited, you wouldn't be in pain now.  Please, Faramir....please forgive me."

 

"No, you were not selfish, I wanted you to...just as I still want you," Faramir said quickly. He closed his eyes and silently berated himself for not concentrating harder on hiding his pain from Haldir. Now he was a failure even in this. "I'm so sorry," he whispered feeling tears form behind his eyelids.

 

Haldir lifted one hand and gently caressed his lover's face.  "No, seron vell," he whispered, pressing his lips against Faramir's.  "There's nothing to be sorry for.  This isn't your fault.  It's just that I simply cannot bear seeing you in pain."

 

Raining soft kisses over Faramir's face, Haldir closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He gently rolled them both back over until Faramir was on top.  Taking his lover's hand, he dipped each finger into the oil that had just slicked his own fingers.  "Echado veleth enni," he whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat.  "Make love to me.  Please, meleth.  I want you to take me."  He was slightly shocked as the words fell from his lips.  //I never thought I would want this.  But…Gods, I never thought I would be in love either.  Now they have both come to pass.//

 

Faramir's eyes opened as Haldir rolled them and he gazed in amazement as his lover coated his hand in the slick oil. His breath caught in his throat as Haldir spoke. "You want...but...but I've never..." he stammered his voice trailing off as he stared into Haldir's eyes.

 

Haldir put a stop to his lover's protests with a kiss.  "Neither have I, meleth," he said softly against his lover's lips.  "I have never been taken."  Spreading his legs, Haldir gently pressed Faramir's fingers against his entrance.  "But I want you to take me. I want to be yours as you are mine."  Pulling his lover closer with his other arm, Haldir closed his eyes.  "Please," he whispered, swallowing the sudden nervousness that threatened to steal his breath away. 

 

Faramir's words were lost in Haldir's kiss and then he found he could only stare at him. "Neither of us have done this before...please tell me if you want me to stop," he asked softly. Remembering Haldir's touches the night before he slowly and gently trailed his finger around Haldir's entrance before carefully slipping just the tip inside. Lowering his head he took his lover's arousal deep into his mouth and continued pressing his finger inside. Slowly delving further and moving in small circles he felt the tight muscle begin to relax slightly around his finger. He felt relieved when he realized he wasn't hurting his love and continued.

 

Haldir's anxiety was pushed to the back of his mind as Faramir's mouth moved over his length.  He was almost startled to feel that one finger had already entered him, and a soft sigh of pleasure fell from his lips.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he worried about what would come next, and felt himself tensing slightly, but as Faramir's mouth continued move, he found himself focusing on the feel of those delicious lips moving over every inch of his shaft.  "So good, seron vell," he moaned breathlessly.

 

Faramir continued to slowly prepare his lover.   He was nervous, but felt so honored that Haldir was allowing him this. He wanted to make it as perfect as possible for his love, and hoped that he would be able to do so.

 

After long moments he felt his lover relax more as he continued his attention to the hard shaft throbbing against his tongue. Gauging that he'd opened his lover enough, Faramir drew back and slid a second finger alongside the first, moving very gently into the tight channel and pausing anytime he felt resistance.

 

Haldir tried his best to cover his nervousness.  As a second finger worked gently and lovingly into his body, he relaxed, knowing that Faramir would never hurt him, and giving himself over to the exquisite sensations that assaulted his body.  //God's, I'm glad I've never allowed anyone to take me before.  This is something I want to share only with Faramir...only with the one I love.// 

 

After his lover seemed to accept the invasion Faramir began to move his fingers, and then curled them searching for the same spot that had made him almost come undone the night before. As his fingers brushed over the small bundle his cock twitched violently from the beautiful reaction he received.

 

Crying out as his prostate was nudged, Haldir spread his legs further and closed his eyes.  He moaned, and tried to focus his gaze on Faramir, knowing how much the slow pace must have been costing him. Leaning up to let his still oiled fingers close around Faramir's arousal, Haldir stroked him gently. He relaxed completely and smiled at his lover.  "Please, love," he whispered.  "I want to feel you inside me."

 

Faramir gasped as slick fingers wound around his aching shaft and he leaned forward pressing his lips gently against Haldir's in a sweet almost chaste kiss. "I love you," he whispered drawing away and settling on his knees between Haldir's legs.

 

Slowly he withdrew his fingers from the now relaxed entrance and leaned forward pressing against the still tight opening. Watching Haldir's eyes he bit his bottom lip in concentration fighting the urge to thrust forward and instead slowly breached his lover. He stopped just after the head slipped inside and waited while he watched Haldir's face to know that he could move again. It took every ounce of patience he could muster until finally he was fully seated within his lover. Dragging in a deep breath he leaned down and kissed Haldir gently.

 

Gasping at the unfamiliar sensation, Haldir focused on Faramir's eyes, forcing himself to relax as he was slowly stretched and filled with such tenderness.  He could see the strain on his lover's face as Faramir forced himself to go slowly, and gazed adoringly up at him as his body adjusted to the intrusion.  

 

Taking a deep breath, the Silvan Elf finally relaxed completely and tentatively moved his hips, feeling the thick organ inside him shift.  "Move," he pleaded in a low voice as his head arched back on the pillow.  "Please, seron vell, move…"

 

Faramir lost any sense of control as his lover asked him to move. Drawing back and thrusting slowly he smiled lovingly at Haldir, enjoying his reaction and the fact that *he* was the reason he was reacting so beautifully. Settling into a slow and steady pace Faramir leaned down and captured his lover's lips in a deep kiss, his tongue thrusting into Haldir's mouth in tandem with their bodies moving together. Nothing in his life had ever felt more right than loving and being loved by Haldir.

 

Haldir's arms wrapped around his lover and he met each thrust with a shift of his hips, taking the rigid length that was moving inside him deeper with each thrust.  His legs opened wider and locked around Faramir's waist as his low moans were lost in the warmth of their kiss.  He belonged to Faramir completely – and nothing could ever change that.  A soft cry fell from his lips and his eyes fell shut as his prostate was nudged, causing stars to flash behind his eyelids.  "Avo dharo, meleth," he moaned, lifting his hips to meet each thrust.  "Please….don't stop."

 

Feeling his lover move with him was incredible, and drew a low moan from Faramir. The tight heat surrounding his shaft as he moved was quickly drawing him closer and closer to the edge of oblivion. Reaching between them, his hand wrapped around the thick shaft trapped between them, his thumb trailing over the leaking head to spread the slick fluid down the hard length. Faramir's pace quickened and his thrusts deepened as he felt himself nearing completion. "I love you, Haldir," he gasped softly leaning down for another deep kiss. Breaking away breathlessly he stared into shining blue eyes as he felt his release was very near. "Come with me, my love."

 

Haldir's fingers clutched at his lover's shoulders as Faramir drove into his willing body again and again.  His hips moved of their own accord, and he began thrusting up into the hand surrounding his cock and back to impale himself on the thick organ buried deeply inside him.  "Gods, meleth," he moaned, leaning up and pressing his lips to his lover's.  He suddenly felt the same warmth as he had the night before, golden and comforting, like a thick blanket, as it seemed to surround them both.  Clinging to Faramir, he felt his release slam into him, his cries lost in his lover's mouth as his cock throbbed and pulsed inside the fist surrounding him.  Loving fingers coaxed his release from him until he was completely spent.  "I love you, seron vell," he murmured, his body clenching around the rigid arousal still buried deep inside him.

 

Faramir cried out as already tight muscles clenched around him and as he felt his lover's release thick and warm over his hand, his own washed over him. He felt as if his soul were pulled from his body to entwine with Haldir's, as the very air around them seemed to surround them. "I love you so very much," he gasped as he collapsed forward burying his face against his lover's neck and held him tight. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way it felt to make love to the one person he knew he would love for the rest of his days. After a few moments he caught his breath enough to slip from his lover and settle beside Haldir resting his head over his rapidly beating heart. "I...I did not hurt you?" he asked suddenly concerned because he had lost control toward the end.

 

Haldir's arms slid around his lover automatically, holding him tightly as he tried to catch his breath.  His skin felt warmer then the temperature in the room warranted, and he noticed that Faramir's did as well.  //It wasn't my imagination.  Not both times.//  Burying his face in his lover's hair, he closed his eyes and breathed in Faramir's intoxicating scent.  "No, love," he whispered, taking a deep breath.  "You didn't hurt me at all.  It was…it was perfect.  More than perfect, meleth.  I am so glad I had never been taken before.  I didn't know that I was waiting, but I was. I was waiting for you."

 

Faramir lifted his head to look into Haldir's stunning eyes and smiled happily. "I am glad too...that we were able to share this together. In all my dreams I never thought I would find someone who completed me the way you do," he whispered softly. Haldir was everything he had ever wanted, compassionate, intelligent, noble, and far more beautiful than he could have ever dreamed.

 

Smiling, Haldir lifted his hand and ran his thumb gently over his lover's lips.  "You are all I have ever dreamed of as well," he said softly, "and so much more.  And I will love you forever, meleth, I promise you that."

 

Faramir moved closer and pressed a soft kiss against Haldir's lips whispering the word 'forever' against them. Laying back down he snuggled against his lover. "The sun is starting to rise," he whispered as he noticed a faint golden light starting to fall across the room from the window. He rested his head on Haldir's shoulder and curled his leg over his lover's waiting for the day to begin anew.

 

Haldir snuggled closer, sighing in contentment.  His free hand found Faramir's and he entwined their fingers as he turned toward the window and watched the sunrise with the man he loved wrapped securely in his arms.

 

The sunrise was beautiful but Faramir found that his eyes kept traveling back to the beauty beside him. His entire life he had been told that he was nothing, that no one would ever love him, yet now Haldir was lying beside him. He turned away from the sunlight and watched his lover; slowly he wrapped a tendril of golden hair around his finger and released it, enjoying the way the silken threads slid against his skin. After a few moments he wrapped his hand in soft hair and leaned in pressing a soft kiss to Haldir's shoulder. "You are more beautiful than the sun, more lovely than the moon, and your eyes glitter as if the very stars in the heavens were a part of you."

 

Haldir watched, entranced as his lover wound his hair through long, perfect fingers.  "You have the heart of a poet," he said softly, releasing his lover's hand and reaching up to stroke his face tenderly.  "Everything about you is so beautiful….I only wish you could see yourself the way I see you, my lovely one.  You take my breath away with your every smile, and you speak as if you were a poet, not a captain."  

 

Faramir felt his face color and he smiled. "You seem to bring that out more in me than normal," he said softly. Remembering his father's cutting remarks all his life about his love of books and poetry Faramir looked away from Haldir's eyes for a moment. "I have been told that Gondor has no need of poets but of warriors, but I have always thought that we needed both," he said softly for the first time speaking his mind honestly.

 

There was no doubt in Haldir's mind as to who told Faramir such lies.  //Foolish Steward!  You cannot be proud of the most precious jewel in all of Arda?  You would try to change him and make him ashamed of what is in his heart?// Haldir shook his head and gently urged Faramir to look at him once more.  "What your adar thinks," he said softly, "is not necessarily what is best for Gondor – nor, I wager, what the people wish.  You are loved, by everyone in your fair city, pen velui, for exactly what you are.  That was plain to see in the dining hall as they all raised their drinks and wished us well.  Your adar's words do not hold true for the people of Gondor."

 

Faramir gazed into Haldir's eyes and smiled softly. "The only person I want to love me is right here in my arms," he said softly resting his head against Haldir's chest and closing his eyes as he listened to his strong heartbeat under his ear. He had not paid attention in the dining hall, his eyes had been firmly fixed upon his plate or on Haldir the entire time. He realized that most of the time his head was bowed, no matter where he was except with his men on the battlefield. He decided then that he would no longer keep his head bowed, Haldir was right, what his father thought was not always what his people did. Boromir had even said that before, saying that their father was out of touch with what was happening in his own land.

 

"I am sure word has spread across the entire city of my devotion to you," Haldir said softly as his trailed his fingertips over Faramir's back, avoiding the scars and bruises with ease, as every one seemed to be burned into his memory.  "I think your…...the *steward*… will keep his distance from now on, and you will be free to be yourself - to be the man you have never been allowed to set free."  Unable to resist, he lifted his head and placed another soft kiss on his lover's lips.  He grinning wickedly and licked his lips.  "And you should feel free to wake me as you did earlier anytime you see fit."

 

Faramir returned the kiss, feeling his heart swell in his chest with the warmth and knowledge that Haldir loved him. He laughed softly at Haldir's gentle teasing and rested his head back onto his chest. Taking a deep breath and inhaling the scent of his lover, he smiled and traced a lazy pattern over his muscled chest with his fingertips. "I will remember that," he whispered and the raised back up to gaze into Haldir's eyes. "And...thank you for the beautiful gift you have given me today. I love you, and each moment I am finding that I am falling more in love with you."

 

Haldir smiled and pulled Faramir closer.  The feeling of being loved so completely was something he'd never felt before in his lifetime.  Twice he had made love to Faramir, and twice he and felt a golden warmth and happiness that he had only heard about in ancient tales.  "I adore you," he whispered, feeling his heartbeat speed up as he lost himself in his lover's eyes.  "And I wanted to give myself fully to you, as I have never given myself to another.  Thank you for wanting me in that way."

 

"I will always want you in every way," Faramir said leaning in and placing a soft kiss against perfect lips. Finally drawing away he settled into his lover's embrace not wishing to leave their bed and face the day ahead. "I wish we could stay here all day...but unfortunately we won't be able to have that luxury," he grumbled just a bit and snuggled closer hoping for just a few minutes more before they had to get up.

 

"I know, melethen," Haldir sighed, not wishing to leave their bed either.  "I shall meet with my brothers today and send them back to Lorien with a letter to my Lord and Lady.  And I should speak with the captain of your guards.  If I am to stay here, I should make myself useful."

 

Faramir felt his heart skip a beat as he realized that it was true, Haldir was truly staying in Gondor with him. Then he thought of Haldir's brothers. "Are you sure your brothers will not try and convince you to return to Lorien?" he asked curiously. "We did only just meet a few days ago, if I were them I would question it I'm afraid," he said softly.

 

"My brothers will understand, and do as I bid them to do," Haldir said, worried that he had pushed Faramir too quickly, blinded by first love and unable to take things as slow as Faramir may have wished.  "Are you having second thoughts, melethen?  Do you need more time or space before making me a permanent part of your life?  I realize this has happened very quickly for us both and I would understand if you felt that way."

 

"No...not at all...I was saying that if I were your brothers I would worry. Just as I am sure Boromir will have more than a little bit to say on the matter when he returns. He will understand, but I know him and I know at first he will be concerned, just as your brothers will have every right to be," Faramir explained softly as his fingers slipped from tracing across Haldir's chest to wrap in his hair again unable to stop toying with the soft strands.

 

"Then our brothers," Haldir smiled, "may feel worry or concern all they like, but they will simply have to see the way we look at each other, and they will have no choice but to be happy for us."

 

Faramir smiled and placed a soft kiss against Haldir's chest just as a knock sounded at his door. Barely resisting rolling his eyes and telling them to go away, he instead told the person on the other side of the door he would be there in a moment. "Sorry," he murmured untangling himself from his lover. He quickly grabbed a pair of breeches from the chest at the end of the bed and answered the door. It was one of his men giving him a message; the man apologized for disturbing him and left. Turning back around as he read the parchment quickly his eyes met Haldir's who was watching him from the bed.

 

Haldir quickly slid from the bed and crossed the room.  Placing his hands on his lover's shoulders, he gently urged him to turn around.  Just as he'd thought….the welts on Faramir's back had lessened, and the bruises, thankfully, had already faded to purples and yellows.  Even the deep lacerations had seemed to knit together in the hours since he'd last treated them.  "Are you in pain, melethen?" Haldir asked as his fingers trailed carefully over the length of his lover's spine. 

 

"Not really...I have always healed quickly," Faramir said softly looking over his shoulder at Haldir who was studying his back. He shrugged slightly, "It's always worst the first day and then seems to fade rather quickly," he said turning back to face Haldir. "The healers always found it odd, even when I was a child, but they said each person is different."

 

Haldir studied his lover's eyes for a moment, then smiled and took him into his arms.  "I'm glad you're feeling better," he said softly.  //Thank the Valar you heal so quickly, my love.  At least most of the pain is behind you.  And if he ever tries to harm you again, I *will* kill him.//  Shaking his head, and focusing back on his lover, Haldir pressed a kiss to Faramir's temple, trying to hide his distraction until he could make better sense of what he was seeing.  "We should get dressed, melethen," he whispered.  "And see to our duties so that we may hurry back to each other's arms at the end of the day."

 

"I like that end of the day part," Faramir said smiling. They dressed as quickly as two people who kept being distracted by kisses and soft touches could possibly dress and then left their room together. At the door Faramir kissed his lover gently. "I love you," he whispered before heading downstairs to meet his men.

 

"I love you too," Haldir said, watching as his lover walked down the hall toward the stairs.  //There is much I need to understand, melethen, but I do love you with all my heart.//  He turned and looked back at the bed he and his lover shared, smiling as he remembered every moment of the night before.  With a contented and happy smile on his face, he shut the door behind him and headed toward the guest quarters, hoping to find Rumil and Orophin.

 

TBC


End file.
